Threading The man

Living in Abu Dhabi

Holy S**t!! I just had my ears threaded! I had no idea it was coming. Rubber-banded more like!

I walked into an Arab Gentleman's Saloon today to have my hair trimmed short because I was feeling a bit long on the head. Yes, it was a saloon because Men (notice the capital M) cannot go to a salon. No sir, so it's an extra "o" for us.

Here I was getting a nice trim followed by a straight edge shave and the Egyptian Barber guy, a young man with slick hair and in need of shave and some less rumpled clothes, pulls out a spool of something and wraps it around his fingers. Then he makes a triangle of the thread with two fingers of his right hand and sticks the other end in his mouth. At the base of the triangle was a length of dangling string that he wrapped around his index finger on his left hand. Did I mention he licked the thread first? He goes right up to my ear lobe and WHAM! Pain. Wow that sucked.

I gritted my teeth but only in my mind as I was determined not to let the shriek of WTF?!?!? pass my lips. His English was limited to Wash yes? Shave yes? No? Good? You Like? Is Okay? so I didn't bother saying, "Hold on brother but that s**t hurts and why the f**k didn't you say anything before you attacked me?" I just dealt with it and prayed it would be over soon.

I could see in the mirror his mouth and the head attached to it were inches from my ear and he was bobbing his neck back and forth as he guided the rubber band of follicle torture across my skin. If I wasn't so surprised and fighting back the pain I would have thought it was funny. It was like he was giving me an ear job or something.

The snap and twang of the string as he rrrrippped, rrrrippped, rrrrippped was so loud I imagined each little follicle screaming in agony as it was torn from my skin. All I could think of was, what if he starts to do my chest? What other grooming techniques of pain will he inflict on me next? All I wanted was a shave and hair cut!

Thankfully, other than a healthy dose of the fresh and clean sting of good old fashioned aftershave and a couple of light face slaps that was the end of it.

Before today I couldn't imagine ever getting threaded any more than I could have believed a black man as president 30 years ago. That's just not something that happened in my world. Until today. So here I am, threaded and groomed while Obama is President. In spite of the painful journey, I guess we both look good.

Reviews

[emmajoy]

' .. bobbing his neck back and forth as he guided the rubber band of follicle torture across my skin ..'

Should I have cringed then wryly smiled?! Trying hard not to imagine your terror and pain, trying to to think of other extraordinary applications in this or that salon or saloon - happens, especially in the East. Yours is a recommended read, unsure whether it was or not meant as a gift, challenge or just reward. ' Can only say that sharing the story was a act of bravura on my part, but appreciated as a well written, economically laid tale. As to Obama, a fine fellow now given way to another man.

[Mari Sloan]

This is interesting! What is the purpose of "threading?" Delightful detail in this story, which has left me wanting to know more!

:-) Mari

[holly]

Clever and sharp. Good story/reportage. I enjoyed it a lot.

[LeeHeeHee]

Amusing and well written. Very clear. That last paragraph brings the peice together.

[forrestcook]

You DEFINATELY have a talent for writing...the one thing I so wish I could do is to compose, successfully, in the narrative form. You do it VERY well. This was a VERY enjoyable read.

[Constance-Outspoken]

Hahaha. A Saudi woman I knew wanted to do this to my eyebrows once, somehow. I declined politely. Supposedly it lasts longer than shaving or any other method. Sounds excruciating, though!

[James Watts]

Holy S**t!!(avoid this one. It is not a good idea to use multiple punctuation. One exclamation will suffice.)

WTF?!?!? (same as above)

You had to mention the chest. A friend of mine wants to do the old wax treatment on my chest, she is really sincere about this, too. After watching the 40 year old Virgin, I think I will pass lol. Nice little write.

[Natalie]

This is intersting and well written, but I'm still confused. I've never even heard of this.