William Tell Missed

I stood and waited
Trembling with fear
Bouyed by the trust
Placed in his love for me.
Relying on his skill.

I hear the click of the hammer
As he aimed and exhaled slowly.
I did too and felt the strength of his gaze
The force of his concentration.

An instant. A microsecond.
I see the bullet in slow motion
Then feel the pulp of my brain
Splash violently out of my head.

I see him shouting, "No!"
And I wonder, "Did William Tell ever miss?"

Author's Note

Welcome back squirrel.

Reviews

[David W Moore III]

an interesting disconnect here. we start with an endearing stanza of trust, followed with a stanza of action, then one of explicit gore, then an almost humerous ending, that we feel bad chuckling at. It leaves me feeling like i've been through a whirlwind. there are certainly many ways to read and read into this. definitely leaves me thinking.

[Bennett Logan]

I really like this! My initial thought was one of an exhibition-style shooting gone terribly wrong, but then it started taking on so many other forms.

It made me want to turn it into a metaphor for a relationship gone wrong with one person hurt/damaged due to the carelessness of a spouse, loved one, or friend.

Then I put it in a more sinister context where is wasn't sport or metaphor, but murder. The William Tell reference in the last line reads more ironically, and I thought that was pretty interesting.

You make your reader think and feel.

Awesome poem as always, sir.

[StaRsmacK]

Wow. So graphic and moving. And the ending is the cherry on top. Brilliant work.

[Sean Allen]

Ouch!

[Ruth]

Clever :)
A great poem for the image!
Macabre and well written love!
xx

[Senseless whatever]

very nice. starting with trepidation and building till.... great job.

[.]

A clever and dark piece, with a twist...you have me chuckling..although I feel that I shouldn't..those last moments captured wonderfully..

[Kasey Jones]

The first stanza really had me hooked. This is great, perfectly descriptive, and I love the ending.

[Devons]

The last line makes me think of 'famous last thoughts' as opposed to 'famous last words' - if we could ever know what goes through someone's head at the moment of such a death (other than the bullet itself, that is). Contrasted with the famous William Tell story, this brings reality up against romance in a clinical, slightly disturbing manner. The description of the bullet striking the head has a graphic starkness in comparison to the euphoric and heroic outcome of William Tell's shot. And the fact that this time it is a bullet and not an arrow brings this modern realisation of a similar tale into sharp relief. The impression one is left with is one that appeals to a realist like me: for all the love, trust, and romance of the human imagination, how many times out of ten would such a positive outcome as Tell's story really occur in the real world? This is romance versus reality - and reality, of course, wins. And this is probably why people so love to believe in such tales as that of William Tell.
Good and interesting stuff.

[Liza]

great play on all the senses
every line felt unexpected
liked it