With A Guiding Hand at the Throat

write please read and enjoy

I'm feeling paranoid again

about this real life cone of silence

these close friends of mine

and I suffocate on my instincts, the walls are closing in

when I look for a helping hand I don't know if I'm reaching or

lashing out, I can't tell if this is a fist anymore

I cross my arms and hold myself tight

I can't betray another trust

this fear is the poison that cyclically excuses my vitriolic behavior

I will sweat it out cold turkey, until I drench the bone

hobbled and still standing, emerging,

an addict to the mischief that alienates me, I love the conflict

and hate myself for it, social anxiety riddles me, how do I overcome self-destruction alone?