All Made Up

All Made Up

Sails unfurled with

no wind to fill them

a woman I've never known. 

Some dreams that satisfy      some not   but

 

all made up

Singing moons to the deepest purple waves

Lines of a new social intercourse       

in my eyes 

I look peering through dust and grey

Grey farmhouse windows with

peeping webs

where ..............flies are stuck and buzzing

Everything around 

is broken down 

fallen ..... brown and down with rust....... abandoned 

sludge-like grey, the ghosts      that are frightening 

even those

are all made up

time races then crawls then goes 

nowhere and yet everywhere

all made up like eternal tumbleweeds 

wrestling within their thorny brown briars

wrestling to cling

(please don't throw me in the briar patch!)

the memories of a life time

break apart and scatter like

cracking atoms to bits and pieces

pieces speaking in faery soughing songs

swirling down ebon vortex funnels

funneling               fading.

water through my fingers.

slipping,

withering away   

  

all made up 

09/25/2024

E.

Author's Note

Reviews

[Stella Armour]

First read and then the video brought me to dementia, although maybe that wasn't the intent of the poem as we all interpret things differently according to our own experiences.
A nightmare all the same, snatches of decay living and then fading into the ether lost in memory of was it real or fantasy...
Perfect video for the emotional imagery you portray here Gene... so different and i really enjoyed reading it... :)

[Einstein Noodle]

i love how you see this one, Stella ... yes! dementias certainly play into our memory thing. aging causes all of us to be affected in some way or another .. letting go of memories can also be freeing .. thank you for sharing specific things that moved you .. on both the poem and the music. i had to look a bit to find the song "I don't remember" ;) love on ya Stella and again thank you for the visit and review
E.

[Stella Armour]

My pleasure Gene ....

[Rosie C]

Some wise words here in this piece.

A bit thought-provoking, intriguing and reflective.

I can sense some self-awareness and spirituality from the writer.

There is a hint of suffering, perhaps from high-functioning depression. You wouldn’t be able to write so excellently if the suffering was too much. The brain can only take so much capacity until it’s time for rest.

[Einstein Noodle]

thank you for taking time and finding this one, Rosie! i appreciate it very much! i love your remarks .. you are sensitive and paying attention to what is a bit of a down moody write .. definitely some shattering and resultant depression ... you are a smart cookie, aren't you?! ;)
E.

[Rosie C]

I’d like to think I am a smart cookie.

A delicious one.. 😂

I’m glad that the depression has shifted. And you can now move into the healing light.

[Einstein Noodle]

oh ... my expressions are rarely confessional .. but i draw from things in my imagination and real life's experiences .. of course feelings of depression flit across my screen but never last .. after all .. i write ... right here at the Cafe` .. big love and hugs Ms. Delicious Cookie ...

[Eilis]

I think when we are young there is an illusion that when we reach middle and old age that we will be ready in the same ways we were ready for transitions in earlier days. Like we will have developed wisdom and a set of tools to help us navigate the journey forward.

Yet I think what we truly learn is it is difficult to let go of our view of ourselves as forever vital and powerful and welcomers of new opportunity. Some things just naturally wane with time. Youth and youthful beauty will leave us regardless of how much we try to keep them. Our minds and bodies naturally decline, but somehow our desires for experience and stimulation and companionship do not.

Your poem made me think of these things. Our hopes and dreams for newness even in the midst of an awareness of things falling away or eluding us. Memory is a strange thing. Working backward and forward and sometimes creating a deeper awareness of empty spaces. A longing for something that feels out of reach. It’s a sad and stirring exploration as I read it like this. My mother is quickly declining with Alzheimer’s and my father has begun a quick decline as well since retiring. The human need to feel useful and a part of something that is purposefully moving forward is so strong. It sustains the spirit I think. Your poem speaks to me strongly of this and the interplay between the present, memory, and hope for the future. A powerful work.

[Einstein Noodle]

i feel so gratified by your review .. thank you so much for sharing how it touched you and where it took you. my Ma passed with Alzheimer's and it's sequelae .. thank you so much, Ellis!!! i wish you and all your family well in your journey with your parents .. God bless you!
E.
E.

[Betty Hermelee]

Dear Noodle! Quite a movie you showed us! now I understand your creepy nightmares, and all the weird things you were dreaming about...very scary at times and almost like stream of consciousness ....humans and others appear and disappear as your dream continues on.... everything seems to be decaying, broken, fading,..."memories break apart and scatter"....."everything around is broken down, fallen"....
I hope your dreams improve over time.... all the best! Nice write!
Warmly, B

[Einstein Noodle]

not a dream blessed Betty! my wild imagination and take on my life and times ;) you are so kind to read and review ... your support is much appreciated ... right here at the Cafe' :)
E.

[Betty Hermelee]

i love wild imagination! always a pleasure!
Warmly B😊

[J Todd Underhill]

Great write my friend. Seems an eternity since I dropped in on your work. Had me pouring over each stanza a few times to really taken what I was reading. Read it aloud, as I do, and it really was something to behold! I loved the Please don't throw me in the briar patch!

[Einstein Noodle]

yes ... the dread briar patch eh!? :))) so joyful with your visit Mr. Underhill!! we have missed one another for sure .. and it has been a long time .. i'm stopping by your lanes next my friend .. see what's up wit you.
E.

[Neville]

I don't think its all made up at all dear brother G .. I think you took your time and crafted this precisely as you see or saw it unfurling .. whatever way one looks at it, everything else is just history shelved .. so full of sadness & losses back on back .. and yet in spite of all our embus & prayers & candles burnt there are so many souls lost .. and the knowing hurts like hell .. doesn't it .. Neville 💜

[Einstein Noodle]

i super appreciate your read on this one my friend .. you took the journey with me, didn't you!? :) yes .. lost souls are all heart breaking ... the most hurtful of tragedies in our human existence .. especially when a hand up is always right there at one's finger tips ... like ceiling painting at the Sistine Chapel .. God's touch mere milimeters away from that connection to man .. there is a lot of letting go in life, it seems; but the one thing to cling to is our Creator ;) luv on ya Nev .. thanks so much for reading with such sensitivity and understanding
E.

[Neville]

it was a real joy to savour your fine words again my friend .. N :)

[Cherrie L Bill]

My grandmother went down this path. Losing memories in reverse. Until she clung to sparks of something. A moment almost developed then lost.
At the end I never told her my name just that I was her favorite. Then I could be whoever she could remember.

[Einstein Noodle]

that's beautiful, Cherrie! "I was your favorite" .. just beautiful

[Patricia Wedel]

dear Gene... when my "Time" arrives, I will be singing "I fall to Pieces".
I know that being around my grandchildren will make a difference; however, I will be too sad. softly, Pat

[Einstein Noodle]

what a beautiful, beautiful comment, Pat! thank you so very much. may we all pass peacefully into the loving arms of the Creator of all things.. luv and joy!
E.

[Robert Trakofler]

This so reminds me of what happened to me when I died I remember watching the memories fragment before my eyes but the funny thing is they didn’t evaporate they just went somewhere else:/ it took me years to reassemble some of the pieces but they have mostly recovered

[Einstein Noodle]

Mr. Bunny Man!! I love the humor I see in your reactions to this poem. I am always grateful for your visits. Are you doing anything special for Thanksgiving besides eating? :)
E.

[Robert Trakofler]

lol I am making my holiday rescue kits at the restaurant (a thanksgiving tradition) it has been a slow year only 55 ordered so far:)

[Einstein Noodle]

i think 55 is impressive!

[apennylate]

Is romance a liquid?
Bravery a solid?
Can it be amended with enzymes, repaired via dissonance?
Am I even a memory in their head?
Why do I have a mind that covets thoughts I find useless...
Why can I not win when I think of each victory.
I guess it is all made up, this feeling of being full.
She gave me what I thought to be food.
Ending tastes like copper.
Find my face in the faded reflections of a windowless train.
I wish this poem had not been so sad, I also wish it has been sadder...
Weird.
Very well written...

[Einstein Noodle]

what a fantastic response from you, pennylate!! i love it .. especially what you say about the sadness .. just beautiful, not weird at all ... i'm so grateful for you stopping and taking time here on my little streets .... right here at the Cafe' :)
E.

[Ken Simm.]

I would love to film this. I can see every bit of it. It is so full of visual atmosphere.

[Einstein Noodle]

Ken! i feel so blessed by that .. if anyone could, it would be you .. filming or better yet painting it ;) luv ya brother .. thanks so very much!
E.