Too Heavy (Cast Away)

Sometimes, when you swim out to save a drowning individual you wind up having to make a choice: drown yourself, or cast off the weight; And you always have to carry the weight of consequence. 04/21/08

So I woke up today, and the morning newspaper read
John's in jail, his future's dead
This morning, mourning
No prospects, no disrespect
Just regret...
And tears, one for every year
Facing prison, locked up again
Your attorney may not even take the case, my friend
I had to tell your woman
That you were alright
Even though you're locked up tight
The rage, seeing you in a cage
While I know the fault falls on you, it's true
I find myself shouldering some responsibility too
I didn't only fail you, so much
As I failed the both of us
I'm disappointed
This desecration, so annointed
Applied, like an ointment
The power to heal is within me
Like a solvent, I'll break it down and solve it
At least... usually
But this time, I couldn't seem to solve anything
Now I'm making my last stand
Standing tall, a man, offering a helping hand
So busy taking care of myself
Good grades, good health, maybe a little wealth
That I forgot about those around me
Those who surround me
I forgot about the world
As this tragedy unfurled, I curled
Into myself, into a ball
It was a series of bad calls
Bitter now, to see you fall
And all I wanted was it all...
And all I did was watch you fall

Author's Note

The day I found out by way of newspaper that the roommate I had just kicked out landed in prison for life. I took him in because I saw it coming, and I made a conscious decision that decided all that transpired. My fault? No. But it still churns my stomach.