Awayness.

 

Awayness.

 

Time-racked hope sickens yet clings to torn veils.
Train whistles awayness by distancing rails.
Faith blurs in acceptance of tear-stung eyes. 
Will instinct wing free from hurtful goodbyes ?

 

Seared straws of comfort clutch loves sinking pyre. 
Heart wavers as pain engulfs memory's fire.
Come autumn I question why, fences now down,
Romance's spent echo still bounces around. 

Reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

super emotive for me ..how hope and faith are tested in loss .. that river of pain so much greater and well populated than that of joy ... the lessons worth it for the stout of heart as hope and faith fail we find the thinnest of thread will carry us through ...
why oh why we revisit that pain when fiercest is beyond me .. but we do don't we .. maybe looking for some other outcome ... your train, straw and fences are vivid for me .. well done .. deep emotions at play
E.

[Fay Slimm]

Your generous review covered so many of the relevant points I hoped would be noticed and thank you kindly dear poet-friend.

[Eilis]

Your last line here makes everything else that came before echo back. It almost felt like the Volta in a sonnet for me. The reveal, in a sense. I really enjoyed the directness of that line, and also appreciate how much meaning and emotion you were able pack in to two short stanzas.

The alienated heart exploring the landscape in a state of wondering. How do things come to this...is what I am left thinking. There's a lovely depth to that longing--connected to the natural state of all things. I suppose we are all just awaiting (with a hope that it won't arrive) the moment when we will feel that loneliness.

Beautiful work, Fay.

[Fay Slimm]

Your thoughtful review makes posting here a must for the likes of me Eilis -- poetry lacks potence without in-put and critique from serious writers so thank you a load for your visit and comment on the piece called Awayness...... appreciation from Fay

[Coyote Poetry]

Beautiful. The poem, like a secret whisper, we can hear in the wind. Thank you Fay for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[Fay Slimm]

How generous your welcome review of my posting and thank you so much Coyote for the visit and read of Awayness.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome dear Fay.

[Neville]

Superbly crafted Fay and that's an understatement.... N :)

[Fay Slimm]

You are most appreciated my friend for your kindest of reviews on my poetic efforts......... thank you and verily Nev.................... Fay

[Neville]

my pleasure as always... have a lovely day.. Neville

[emmajoy]

' Faith blurs in acceptance of tear-stung eyes. .. .. .. Will instinct wing free from hurtful goodbyes ? -

Such superb flow and metre, Fay - each phrase sincere yet gently academic. That said it's a poem that rings of either experience or extreme empathy, especially with those words I've quoted. Beautiful sadness here.. hopefully hugged by happier thoughts.

[Fay Slimm]

Sincere thanks for this generous review emma - -- I really appreciate your visit and assessment. So pleased your enjoyed the read.

[emmajoy]

Meant every word tho' now reads rather formal.. forgive that please, Fay.