She lives in us

I wrote this poem. Wrote it in creative writing and it was therapeutic for me to write.

A day known for joy

Gift giving and cheer

Family spending time together

Christmas day.

Where it all changed

A day forever tainted

It was cold that day when she died

I was alone at home wondering where mom and dad went?

They came home with puffy eyes and long faces

And they told me” Grandma is dead Aaryn”.

My heart ached, my mind whirling

I didn’t believe them

Grandma was supposed to be invincible

She still had vibrant energy when I last spoke to her

Yet she died alone

In her apartment with her special china, her holy statues, and pictures of her husband

What kind of Christmas present was this?

Death on a day of joy?

This wasn’t how Christmas went

Christmas was about cheer and merriment

Happiness and content.

Something grandma would never experience again robbed of it forever and more

No more hearing her quick retorts to my father's commentary.

No more having her offer us her homemade cooking or candies she saved just for us.

No hearing her calling me her Sweetie Pie and asking how I was.

My wonderful Grandma Lucille was no more in this world

But her legacy of her kind warm spirit still lingers

She never shied away from helping others in need.

Her love for us was always felt through her hugs and smiles.

Her love for her husband even greater.

I remember those times when her memory regressed when she talked about her past.

Oh how she talked about her husband

Her eyes seemed brighter her aura more radiant

A great man he was always by her side until he passed.

Forced to live her life alone without her soul mate by her side

Her heart aching but yearning for him at the same time.

Then I understood it all.

She wanted to be with him in the afterlife

She had it all plan in case her time came.

I wish it wasn’t on that cold merry day.

I didn’t say goodbye or told her how school well school was going.

There was a lot of things I wasn’t able to say

But I know my grandma well

She wouldn’t want my light to dim.

To dwell on the what ifs and the have nots

To know she is at peace

She would want me to be the best I could be

To go out there and achieve my dreams and goals

She will always be with us

Her spirit watching us as we move forward

Wanting us to succeed.