#4 You threw me in the dumpster

The red dumpsters stood waiting for me like little vertical coffins

The piles of garbage showed up in the red mini-dumpsters in the loading dock which were meant for construction debris. You might be wondering, what’s the big deal when people choose to dispose their trash in the wrong dumpster over littering all over campus?

 

Well I for one knew, that rats feasted on the pizza and soda and made their nests out of the cartons for rat babies inside the trash. Nevertheless, none of you could be bothered with trifling thoughts.  You all denied everything despite your glaring guilt.

 

When I asked the contractor’s super to empty them, he said it wasn’t their debris but food the students tossed into them. How could this be possible if students weren’t even allowed on campus during the pandemic? I notified the construction managers in the trailers, our trades, Public Safety, and Environmental Health and Safety. They all indignantly denied throwing garbage in the bins, yet it kept piling up.

 

My curiosity compelled me to investigate the dumpsters and I found old drinking fountains and new drinking fountains boxes that only our house plumbers could have disposed after the toilet upgrade.  Dirty filters and compressors filled the heap that our in-house heating and ventilation trades removed after filtration improvements were made for covid.  There were empty boxes with the Public Safety’s secretary name on them, and gas containers that belonged to EHS.  And there were cups, pizza boxes and takeout bags.

 

I took photos of all of these transgressions and sent them to their respective departments, highlighting each baldfaced lie and reminding you to take responsibility for your garbage. Though I probably went too far when I stapled my email to the carpenter’s forehead.  Nevertheless, you continued to avoid me, tired of hearing me harp.

 

When I walked by the red dumpsters for the last time they stood waiting for me, like little vertical coffins.  Then on Staff Appreciation Day you put your plan in motion.  The raffle for a month’s worth of salami sandwiches was rigged so that I’d win. It came with the extra hot sauce that I love so much laced with poison.  After I drew my last breath, the carpenters cut my body into pieces with their circular saw, and you all took turns throwing me, one piece at a time into the dumpsters.

 

The rats swarmed the campus after they devoured my rotting flesh. Now there is no one who will remind you to remove the corpse.

Author's Note

Written with a nod to Agatha Christie’s Murder on the Orient Express