Ch 1: Still, He Searches...

The girl walked casually along the forest floor, taking her time to arrive at her destination. A light hum echoed throughout the trees and steadily grew louder. She looked back, eyes growing in fear as another pair of feet, splattering against the muddy earth, was added to the gentle hum. A teenage boy rushed through the enormous plants, hopping over logs and dodging the branches. The girl snapped forward and began to run as fast as she possibly could. The hum grew louder and louder, and soon it was joined by the sound of crashing trees and wild life escaping. The boy caught up with the girl and took hold of her hand, dragging her along as he took the lead.            

            The crashes were louder then the closest thunder as the machines ripped through the forest, intent on not letting anyone escape. SNAP! A large arrow, only a little thinner then the average human body, ripped out of the front of the machine, and sped towards the two runners. The boy let the girl’s hand slip away daintily as the arrow pierced through the girl’s stomach to heart. Her body lifted in the air for a mere moment, blood flew from her limp body and she was thrust to the ground. The boy desperately attempted to increase his speed and direction, but with little impact as thousands of machine gun bullets raged down on him, leaving his dirtied body in a pool of blood. Fingers desperately twitching, their last active nerves attempting to claw their way up from the muddy earth.

            A pair of black troop boots hit the ground with a thud. They walked towards the two bodies. A gloved hand reached down and took a beaten down and bloody bracelet from their wrists. He shoved them in his pocket, and attached a small microchip onto the neck of each body. He stayed a moment to watch as the microchip burned and melted into the skin of their bodies. He then returned to his massive vehicle and it roared loudly as it slithered back into the brush it had torn through. Leaving the two mutilated bodies to deteriorate in the mud.

             Inside the man sat down, pulled the bracelets from his pocket and observed them. The one he had taken from the girl was small and had a brass chain that was in the process of deteriorating. It had a few knick-knacks hanging off it here and there, mostly pins, wires from an I-D card, an artificial apple core, and a small disk that was covered in so much rust it was hard to make out the design on it. He sighed and thrust it down a small tube near the arm of his chair. He then examined the boy’s bracelet. He sighed once more as the boys bracelet seemed to be identical to the girl’s, with of course, a few other odd objects such as titanium Reignmeng Silhoutes hanging off of it. “Useless,” he muttered as he stuffed the chain into the tube.

            He leaned back, rubbing his hands through his hair. He squinted up at the ceiling of the machine, fully aware of the ever-growing bags under his eyes. “Sir, we’ve finished the Pailen district, move on?” a young pilot in his twenties appeared and saluted the upper ranking man. “No, that’s all for today…” the man trailed off. “Yes sir,” the pilot returned to his position at the front of the machine. The man glared through the window, hating every inch of himself for not trying hard enough. ‘I need to find out what other Districts have been exterminated…” he thought about all the places she could have gone and rubbed his head; it all seemed so pointless.

Reviews

[Christoph Poe]

This story seems amazing! It really does. Your writing has a lot of potential too, but it's not quite there. I'm going to sit down and think about some advice that will help your writing in the long run. (Try to think of things I wish I was told in the beginning--as if I've still not really left the finish line though. Haha) Talk to you soon!

[Fish]

Thank you ^.^ I got the idea in 8th grade, wrote 5 and 1/2 chapters in freshman year, and now i'm realizing just how much I need to go back and revise all of this XD. I'm currently working on finishing the sixth chapter and then go back to fix my first chapters. I'd love for your advice, you are truly an amazing writer. thank you! ^_^

[Christoph Poe]

I'm very flattered that you think so. Haha. But I've got a long ways to go myself. So your inspiration for this story come about in the eighth grade? Ironically, that was when I began mine. :)

[Fish]

Even famous writers could do with improvement :). Yeah, I've been writing and making up stories ever since I can remember, but it takes me forever to finish any because I'll get a few chapters in and hear a song and a title for a new book comes to me and it just keeps happening so I never finish any of them XD. Are you in highschool now or are you way older?

[Christoph Poe]

Haha, I'm 22 now. (Well, I will be in just a few weeks.) I've been done with high school for a minute. I'll be starting college when I finish my novel. I hoped it'd be the summer time, but it's looking grey now.

And I've been working on this same novel since then. I've changed so much since then, but it's roughly the same thing.

[Fish]

oh wow O.O I wish I was able to stay focused on just one thing for that long :o

[Christoph Poe]

Haha, I suppose I have a one track mind. (So I've been told.) I can't stand not to finish something, and I'm a bit if a perfectionist. It's kind of hard to be a perfectionist at anything though when you've had no professional training. I'm still learning. :/

[KeeD]

This was brilliant, I was hooked in from the start, I'm not much of a reader to be honest, but I liked this a lot, kind of reminded me of moments from the hunger games but the detail in which you explain everything makes it a unique and I hope you continue writing it because I do really want to keep reading :)
"Fingers desperately twitching, their last active nerves attempting to claw their way up from the muddy earth." probably my favorite part, such amazing detail, so well penned.

[Fish]

ahh thank you so much :D ^_^ I've never read the Hunger Games.. I probably should though.. hah XD Ch. 2 is going up today, I hope you enjoy it! :D

[KeeD]

i def will check it out :D i'm sure its going to be awesome :D

[AnonymousLad]

This is great, and I can't wait to read more. I'm very curious to find out more about what's happening, you've hinted at a lot of interesting things.
This is definitely the start of something with a lot of potential, and I implore you to continue with it! :)

[Fish]

Oh my word thank you so much! ^_^ Yes I have written quite a lot and just need to type it up now. :) Blah you're so nice thank you ^.^ Ch. 2 Is going up today :) I hope you enjoy it :D