There’s No Saving You

This is for a writing competition where the deadline is like, in 3 days O_O so hopefully someone looks at this nonsense before then lol. I’ll just let the writing speak for itself.

The captain knew he was dead by the next wave that dragged him under. The twilight horizon tipped back as he crashed through, body burning as his senses were blinded by pure movement. That was the thirteenth wave that pushed him down. Bets were placed in his head on how many more it’ll take. He clawed his way back up, nails hooking on the driftwood keeping him afloat. His ship was gone. Capsized and smashed open, the ship had filled with water and drowned with the crew still inside. They had all been asleep on the lower decks. Hopefully, they had never woken up.

Fourteen. There had been so little to worry about the whole month at sea. It had been his first voyage as a captain and a successful one. The pride and cheers of his men had swept him off his feet. Made him forget to check the weather. Nobody warned him. It was too late to go back by the time the rain started.

I almost burnt out, seeing it all go down. There was no work tonight, what with the storm and all. I was in my spot, the only one humans bothered to look for. Then again, not really. Humans don’t call out to my light the way they once did. But then that ship�"my ship�" was out despite the weather. That beautiful vessel Captain Moore had just bought, the one he named in my honor. I watched it flip, boards screaming as it sank. He’s still out there now, blonde hair sticking out against the black depths, struggling alone. It’s my job to shine, my presence guiding, but I feel useless for the first time. I cannot move, I can’t even cry. I’m lucky the rain does it for me.

It felt like all the world hated him as he gripped the wood tighter. Nausea slid up his throat as he was torn up from all directions. Saltwater brined the flesh of his eyes, cuts bleeding pink and raw. Judging from the pain that tore through each breath, his insides weren’t doing better. Above, drippings of gold melted into indigo. It was unfair, how calm it was up there. Stars were dusted on every corner, only growing brighter as remaining light waned. Desperate for something familiar, the captain looked up and searched. Catching Ursa Major, his gaze moved up and right. Polaris stared back. The look he gave wasn’t a cry for help, but for acknowledgement. A prayer to be seen as the sky tipped back again.

I still remember the first greeting his eyes gave. I was the same as always; he had been five. I’ve looked down at Captain Moore ever since. He had been an easy one to latch onto, he was one of the very few still looked up, who depended on me as the compass of the sky. He’s looking up now. It was a desperate, pitiful look, like I was a god. To him, at that moment, maybe I was. Humans often did that the second their lives are on a whim. But this was Captain Moore, my most devoted. I focus on him harder, limbs growing from me as I make myself in his image. I will come down for him.

Fifteen. The nausea won. The air from his lungs was forced out as he retched. He couldn’t breathe. His body inhaled. His mind was too slow to tell him it was water. Just as it all went black, there was light. It covered him in gold, particles swirling like dust in a chapel. He found himself swimming up, not wanting to die falling away from whatever it was. The sea calmed the closer he got. When he broke through the surface, he was met with the feet of an angel. Or was it? He was so delirious, so ready to let it all go that he was willing to see it as anything. Looking up at her, all he knew was that he wouldn’t have minded dying in her arms. He glanced up higher. The Star wasn’t there. Before it hit him, there was something new to question. A gilded hand reached down. The captain didn’t grab it.

The Captain looks even worse up close. Most everything covering him is gone. Strange red tears poured from everywhere but his eyes, but even those were barely spared. The red clashes horribly with the blue. He pulls himself onto the board I’m hovering right over. He looks at the bottom of me, then the rest, then my spot above. One last time, I can see it in his eyes. Once they close, they will not open. I reach down my hand, an answer to his prayer. He does not take it.

“Please, take my hand. I’m trying to save you! You need help, and you-”

I’m cut off, but by the lack of words. I wave a glowing hand in his eyes, hoping to put some light back in his eyes. It doesn’t work.

“…Are you real?” He mumbles, coughing up more tears. He doesn't look surprised. There’s probably not enough of him left for that.

“Yes, I’m real. You know me very well, actually. But there’s no time to explain, you’re clearly dying, and no one has come, and-”

“I know. This is it. I can’t… I won’t make it.”

“Please don’t say that. Don’t give up hope, I came all the way down here just for you! I… I’ll think of something, just please don’t die…”

“Thank you. Just for being here”

The Captain took her hand at last, and she crouched down on the board over him. The board didn’t sink, as if she weighed nothing. He leaned forward, taking a closer look at her. Any human depiction of beauty would’ve been an insult. She was pure light, an uncontrollable blaze that screamed untouchable. He held her hand tighter. In an instant, he knew who she was.

“Don’t thank me just for that. I’ve done nothing to deserve it.”

“Then let me thank you for every time I’ve looked to you.”

“Y-You do recognize me.” Surprise melted into sadness. “If anything, I should be apologizing. I should’ve tried to bring myself closer a long time ago.”

“You’ve been more than enough for me in everything.”

He gave the closest thing he could to a smile. Polaris cried.

I desperately grab his face, something shrill tearing through me. “How can you be so calm about this?! Aren’t you scared? Aren’t you angry at what could’ve been?!”

“There’s too little left in me to be angry at anything.”

Before I can stop, words crash out of me like the very waves that beat him.

But it still feels like I’ve failed you-

Failed me by being the one thing I can 

hold myself against and look up to?

You shouldn’t have had to look up,

I could’ve been right here! By your side…

You’re here with me now.

in your arms…

You’re here now.

with your-

Look at me. He grabs my face back.

“You’re here.”

The rain on my face turns into a storm of my own. With the last of his strength, he hugs me back, leaning dangerously over the board. We whisper lines like poems with no start and end, whispers of Here at last and Forget-me-not until I say Hello and echo it back with no answer.

I look into his eyes. The Captain is dead.

Oddly enough, his death wasn’t as horrible as I had thought it would be. The dying had been hell to watch but death itself washed over him as a gentle wave. I hug him tighter in my arms; this embrace is all I have left. It was almost too much pain to carry. You were right, Captain. There was no saving you.

Suddenly, a flash jolts through me as I touch his chest. A white-hot, acrid spark. He had left something for me. I place both hands on his chest, limbs ignited, interwinding as I breach through his outer shell. I dive deeper through the sunlight, twilight, midnight, until I find it-find him- deep in the abyss. His blazing core throbs in time with mine. I touch it, feeling everything that is and was. This must be what humans call a soul; he gave it to me in my honor. Oh, how devoted he truly was.

I open up the inside of this humanoid form I wore for him. I reveal my own inner self, bringing them closer until they fuse. His love pumps through me like a human heart. I hug his body tighter, ashes of flesh scattering the sea. I kiss what’s left of him, and he dissolves into light. Inside, he told me he loved it.

The rising sun smells like the burnt remains of yesterday, but I know that I’ll protect him from the rot of time. There was no saving you, and yet, you’ve made me a hero. Your savior.

Author's Note

Any type of review/rating=a big fat kiss from me
Specifically, I’m looking for good flow, maintaining contrast between the two characters, a more poetic feeling towards the end, and cutting out anything not needed. Rn this is under 1500 words, and it needs to stay under that due to the contest’s rules.
Okie thx :p

Reviews

[AshAngel]

my God, what you written here.... it's something else. it's truly wonderful. new Captain spoiled by cheers, unattended the sailing conditions what a start ..start of the trouble. and then this line at the end "I kiss what’s left of him, and he dissolves into light. In, he told me he loved it" ..this line is something else. want to read even many times. you have a nice talent. happy and wish to read more of yours. thank you for this amazing and beautiful share.