Shattered

This is how it feels when your heart is broken

So many things I wish I could have changed
Maybe then we wouldn’t be estranged
Shattered pieces of me is all that remain
My life will never be the same
Heartache and emptiness inside
My tears and pain I can not hide
Ever haunted by words I long to voice
Fear of your rejection leaves me without choice
Your absence cripples me with despair
My heart is broken beyond repair
Your love is all that I yearn for
And will until I breathe no more

Reviews

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

like with your other work i reviewed today, this one is thematically one i relate to.
there is an interesting contrast - the first was describing the physical sensation of grief, while here the focus is on the mind. which one is worse? that's hard to say - but there is something to be said about psychic pain and regret.
i hope you are feeling better now and not ruminating on this. as for me, i dont think about it much any moe but nothing good has happenened since either so, it looks like there'll be another long march ahead.

[FlaLover]

The emotions in this are real..not as acute and unbearable.
It's strange. I have never been able to express my feelings (especially when I am hurt and definitely wouldn't tell anyone)...but I able to write about the turmoil within me...my English professor would be amazed

[Chris Shaw]

I remember this feeling well. Pleased to say it happened many moons ago, but heart ache is something you don’t easily forget. It’s a journey, it’s an experience and it does soften with time. Pleased to stop by.

Chris

[FlaLover]

I don't believe this pain will ever completely go away. I have constant reminders so no matter how hard I pretend the void is gone. Expressing the anguish in my writings helps more than one could imagine.
I truly appreciate your comments and encouragement

[Chris Shaw]

It took a long while for my own heartache to soften, but eventually it did. I wish the same for you. Take care of yourself.

[FlaLover]

Your words of compassion and encouragement empower me! Thank you!

[Chris Shaw]

You are welcome friend.

[John Sullivan]

Yeah, you kinda nailed it. That horrible naked pit in the belly feeling. Nicely done, it's an honest piece.

[FlaLover]

Thank you. Some days are better than others. I will always feel this "empty" without this person in my life...but I am getting better at dismissing the thoughts quicker.
I appreciate you reading and commenting

[Ash]

I love this poem it reminds me of a guy who said he liked me and went to the homecoming dance with me and hosted me going on 2 months already. One of my friends told me he got her number and was flirting with her saying he's lonely and she told him why don't you get together with ash and he said that there is on flaw with me and that's because I love K-pop I mean what is wrong with that????? and then I figured out that his Ex liked K-pop and was obsessed with them and said they were cuter than him so they broke up I mean I'm not gonna turn out like that I mean yeah I'm obsessed with K-pop but if I can't have a celebrity crush while a boyfriend because he's jealous that's totally a red flag TOXIC

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

Loving the rhyme in this
Very well done and the message too I got it ! I can easily relate to this

[FlaLover]

Thank you.
I would love to say this wasn't inspired by true emotions. I have learned that writing is therapeutic for me. I will probably never become nonchalant towards my past. Somehow comments and encouragement from people is empowering.
I appreciate you!

[FlaLover]

Trust me when I say if you have any doubts, concerns or just uneasiness with a new relationship....Run Fast and Run Far!
I regret not listening to the little voice within that told me repeatedly the relationship was not healthy and would only bring about heartache.
Thank you for reading and commenting

[Davidgeo]

It can come back if you don't let the empathy atrophy. Empathy is the one thing that can bring broken people back together. Humans would have devoured each other by now otherwise. I pretend it to be jesus sometimes, mostly I just turn to internet porn though.

[JayG]

Again, , a letter to someone unknown, reacting to events for which the reader has no context, if too dispassionate. It's fact-based.

And because the reader has no context, how can that reader know who was at fault for the separation?

My point is: what's in it for the reader? So, again, instead of telling the reader how you feel, make the reader feel, and care.

[Davidgeo]

Dude, what is wrong with you? Shut the fug up.

[JayG]

Ahh..the jealous puppy is yapping at my heels.

You're trying to make me angry, child, but all I feel is pity, for someone who must, desperately, try to pull others down to your level to feel less of a failure.

You do realize, I hope, that your ad-homin attacks are making you look like an a*s to everyone else?

[Davidgeo]

You would never, ever, use ad homin attacks, right Jay? hahahhahah oh man. Are you serious? Or do you really have this big of a problem with self awareness? It's funny, but, it's also getting sad. I know how old you are and I know your family can't be having a good time around you at this point. The type of personality disorder you suffer from doesn't age well. Everyone knows you are miserable inside.

[FlaLover]

I appreciate your honesty, however, I didn’t write this for anyone but me.
The purpose of my writings are to heal myself.

[JayG]

• I didn’t write this for anyone but me.

Nonsense. Were that true you'd not have gone to a writing site and posted it for-others-to-read. And you'd not have left the comments window open.

You want to write poetry without the bother of learning how to do it. So the question is: How many of your other woes are related to that approach to life?

Want to write metrical poems that others will enjoy? Take the time to read te excerpt, on Amazon, to Stephen Fry's, The Ode Less Traveled.

For poetry in general, grab a copy of Mary Oliver's, A Poetry Handbook and dig in.

https://dokumen.pub/a-poetry-handbook-0156724006.html

Anything worth doing is worth doing well.

[Betty Hermelee]

Hindsight is 20-20....only if we could have done this or that...it is so disheartening to feel the way you do....it's crippling in a way....to feel rejected and pain is like being trapped in a car under the water...no way out...yet after the original shock of anger and humiliation...sometimes we can move on and not look back, yet it takes time and many tears....thanks you for sharing!
Warmly, B

[FlaLover]

I would be lying if I said my pain is gone. I will probably always hurt over this..I try to keep those memories locked away.

[Betty Hermelee]

that is a good idea…. you’re working out out as best you can…Bravo!🌷
Warmly, B😊

[Poetic Beauty]

When love is estranged and there seems no repairing the damage that has been wraught it is shattering and leaves and emptiness that is described quite well in this poems

[FlaLover]

Thank you. I wish I could say this wasn't derived from my own emotions...writing helps me more than anything has.

[Poetic Beauty]

Writing is a great way to get out inner emotions in a creative and positive way.

[Pete]

ouch. "shattered" indeed. could feel the brokenness and regret as i read ... :)

[FlaLover]

Thank you for reading this.
I tried to express how I feel.