Infidelity's Poison

Have you ever been betrayed by a lover? This is one perspective

Infidelity's poison caused trust to wither

Once an Everlasting love is now bitter

Shredded promises by a cheaters blade

Faithfulness and honesty betrayed

Lies and deception tore vows apart

Unbearable pain of a broken heart

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

I do agree. When the trust is lost. A great love will fade away to distance memory. Amazing dance of words and thoughts. You allowed the reader to understand. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry and your thoughts.
Coyote

[FlaLover]

Thank you for your inspiring words. Unfortunately I wrote this from my own experience.

[Coyote Poetry]

Us, who love to write. We know. Always best to write from our experience. You are welcome.

[FlaLover]

absolutely!
unfortunately I have way too many sad/heartbroken experiences...lol

[JayG]

• Infidelity's poison caused trust to wither

Not to belittle, but isn’t that like saying, “Mashed potatoes have no bones.”? It’s true, and everyone knows it to be true. But as the first line, and from the reader’s viewpoint, wuy why is it relevant, and what is it relevant to? You know, of course but your intent doesn’t make the page

• Once an Everlasting love is now bitter

As stated, that everlasting love still exists, though modified, which makes no sense. But you needed a rhyme for “wither” so...

And that’s my point. Never bend the line to the needs of the rhyme, because the poem is about the thought being expressed, not the rhyme, which should seem the perfect word to express the thought.

And that brings me to the second point: As a reader views it, this is someone unknown talking about things meaningful to them, based on events only they have context for—because the approach is fact-based and author-centric, which is the very definition of nonfiction writing. But poetry is all about emotion...mostly, the emotion that’s evoked in the reader by your words.

So yes, you can talk about yourself and your situation, but in a way that resonates within the reader, either via something they’ve experienced, or, one they want to experience. And how many are hoping for infidelity? A LOT more people would resonate were the poem about someone feeling guilty about having committed it—especially the result of being caught at it. 😀

You say your writings are inspired by your own experiences. But that’s true of everyone. Ellen Goodman put it well with, “You can fire your secretary, divorce your spouse, and abandon your children. But they remain your co-author forever.” The trick is to phrase it in a way to evoke the emotion in-the-reader, as against describing our own.

A couple of reading suggestions you may find interesting:

Jump over to Amazon and read the excerpt from Stephen Fry’s, The Ode Less Traveled, to put more punch into your prose.

And grab a copy of Mary Oliver’s, A Poetry Handbook. It’s well worth a read, for the little gems sprinkled throughout.

Jay Greenstein
Articles: https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/the-grumpy-old-writing-coach/
Videos: https://www.youtube.com/@jaygreenstein3334

[Betty Hermelee]

Infidelity is poison, it breaks a person's being... every part.... One can be conceited, that may be acceptable, but if you lose one's trust, that is tragic and can easily break up a relationship....Faithful and honesty are crucial, if they do not exist, they fade and destroy everything.....
very poignant piece of writing
Warmly, B