You Probably Don’t Remember

Being estranged from my own child is devastating emotional agony which mere words could never express. No matter how much time passes the heartache simply won't heal.

You probably don’t remember…

Being cradled in my arms, me gently rocking you, softly singing until you fell asleep
All of the nights I read you a bedtime story and you knew almost every word
The trunk where saved things for you… the outfit you wore leaving the hospital when you were born… every birthday card you received… every picture you drew for me… the baby teeth you lost… your school report cards…. Your school pictures…. and many more special things (I even bought a newspaper the day you were born to give to you when you turned twenty)
How you used to crawl in my lap just to snuggle
The hours we spent playing board games or watching movies or listening to music or just talking while enjoying each other’s company
Sharing your thoughts, dreams, accomplishments, fears, happiness, sadness, sickness, disappointments, dislikes, dreams, goals, and plans for the future with me
You would say that you love me to the moon and back
You told me you missed me when we were apart
You being too busy to answer nor return my calls
You slowly stopped talking and sharing with me
You failing to contact me on my birthday or Mother’s day…not even a card
You calling someone else “Mom” and me by my name
You callously said I didn’t have to call you so much
Your cruel and vicious alienation of me from your life with total disregard of my very existence
That you are flesh of my flesh, blood of my blood and this will never change
I will always love you and here when you need me

Reviews

[Fabian G. Franklin]

"How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is to have a thankless child" William Shakespeare from King Lear
But I can relate on a personal level having experienced this sort of ingratitude as a parent. My only comfort to offer is that it doesn't always have to last forever. My oldest child and grandchildren live thousands of miles away but at least they stay in touch now.

[FlaLover]

If I only knew what happened to turn my child (an adult but will always be my baby). Not knowing and not being allowed the opportunity to repair or correct the issue is the worst part. I pray things will change one day.
I appreciate your kindness and compassion.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

My heart goes out to you, truly. I offered a prayer of reconciliation for you and your child. God can move the most stubborn heart, this I know. Bless you.

[FlaLover]

I am touched by your compassion and thoughtfulness. I truly appreciate the support.

[Rosie E C…]

This is packed full of emotional depth.

The powerful bond between Mother and daughter/son is so deeply fascinating but also very sad when it becomes toxic.

This is breathtaking, remarkable and heart-warming.

[FlaLover]

Thank you for reading and commenting.
The alienation from my adult son has created a void in my life. The anguish is felt daily. I pray for the day of reconciliation.
I appreciate your thoughts and kindness.

[Soren]

The pledge of a parent to a child whether now adult of not once a child to a parent always so. Most lovely

[FlaLover]

Thank you for reading and commenting. Oh how I pray for the day this emotional distance ends. I do what I can to not become bitter or depressed. My faith is tested daily but I am holding on.
I appreciate your kindness.

[Soren]

You are most welcome and may your day be one with the wind at your back and the sun on your shoulders.

[Thomas W Case]

Your love carries the weight of a thousand quiet heartbreaks,
and still it stands, unshaken, raw as a wound that refuses to close.

[FlaLover]

This distance between me and my child is the causing many issues for me. I am heartbroken, miserable, and angry. I am bewildered by the mere fact my child would or could treat me like this. I certainly didn't raise my child to be so hateful, rude, insensitive, and many more traits i despise. The bond we once shared i believed it was unbreakable. The absolute devastating part is i don't know how or why this happened. Every passing day the pain deepens.
Thank you for reading and your compassion.

[emmajoygreen]

Dear lady, what a sad - no, tragic time you've had. Tearing up at the thought of what is not happening, what might never happen. Yours is such an emotional, tragic yet fine piece of writing. Some might say that writing such words might be cathartic but what can cure such terrible agonies.

Hugs and hands held - prayers if you want.

[FlaLover]

Thank you. Absolutely want and need hugs and hand held prayers. My faith keeps me from becoming bitter and depressed. Maybe one day I will find the courage to let my child know how I feel without fear of rejection. Until then, I will continue praying and holding on to the happy memories.

[emmajoygreen]

Please, please keep in touch if or whenever you'd like to.

[FlaLover]

You are so very kind. I will most definitely keep in touch.