Desert Wishes

A Tall Tale of how true friendship really does last forever -- deep in the American Southwestern desert.

Funny thins kin happen out on the desert. Even when you got plenty a grub an a wide-brimmed hat to keep the sun from bakin yer brains, it’s not too unusual to see somthin well -- difrent.

When Cooter Ryan an me went through the dessert to prospect fer gold in the foothills south of Greely’s Gulch a piece, we had enuf provisions to last us a good three months, an I sure as hell didn have to worry bout being lonely, cause Cooter dearly loved to talk! If nobody else was there, Cooter’d talk to rocks. He was thirty-eight when we went out on the desert, and I’m surprised his teeth weren’t wore down to nubs by then from havin’ his tongue flappin’ aginst them all the time. The townsfolk used to run an’ hide whenever they saw Cooter comin.’ Oncet, Harry Cooledge even shot Cooter in the laig ter git him ta stop yappin  --  but that jist give Cooter more ta talk about and a bigger audience ta hear him. The sherrif wouldn’ arrest Harry neither. Called it se’f defense.

Now, you might wonder why I’d go out on the desert with somebody like Cooter for three months. For anybody else, it’d be plum suercide, but Cooter ‘n’ me been friends sinset we was both boys. I never have minded Cooter’s talkin.’ When I was twelve, I caught some kind o’ ear bug an’ I bin stone-cold deaf ever sincet. That’s why they call me “Earless.” Earless Dobbins, I am, and proud ta meet ya!

My being deaf never bothered Cooter, o’ course.

It got to where I could read lips real good, but Cooter didn’ mind if I was facin’ him or not, he’d talk anyways. I guess what he liked best about me was I never oncet tol’ him to shut up and that’s about all anybody else ever said to him. Course, people said everthin ta me  --  or more, at me, or about me, ‘cause they thought I couldn’ tell what they was asayin.’ To them, bein’ deaf meant I was dumb, too, an’ I don’ mean unable ta speak, neither, ‘cause as you can tell, I can be dad blamed elophant when I’ve a mind to. Then agin, I don’ generally have a mind to. It’s not too smart, ya see, ta let other folks know ya are.

It was only natural that Cooter an’ me’d end up friends.

Neither one o' us'd ever done a lick of prospectin', but we'd talked to plenty others who had, down at The Lucky Star Saloon. Heh, they had some tales, they did-'bout ghosts an'rampagin' bands o' dead Commanche an' the like - but we never gave 'em any min'.

Sure wish we had, though, sure do.

Well, me an' Cooter listened an' ast enough questions so we knew what to take, and we sold ever' thin'we had to git it an' we took offl Goin' to git rich, we were! Yeah. Goin' to git rich.

It was a Sund'y mornin' that we left. I 'member it clear. Cooter wanted to stop by the church afore we took off - sort o' say goodbye to the Lord in His house, ya know, and leave word where we was agoin' so He could kind o' keep an eye out fer us"

We overslept a teense from bein' so excited the night afore that we didn' git to hed 'til late. When we got to the church, draggin'our mules behin', all aloaded down, the service was jist gittin' out. All the townsfolk poured out the doors - and when they saw us, they started in to laughin'. Purty soon, they was all ahootin' an' ahollerin' somethin' fierce. Even the preacher was agrinnin', and he was tryin' like hell not to bust up. Aw, I couldn' hear 'em, actual - but I could see their faces was all red an' atwisted up, and they was ashakin' an' rollin' their eyes - and I knew they was about dyrng with the hoots!

Maybe Cooter an' me shouldn'a let it bother us. Maybe we shoulda gone on in an' took off our hats to the Lord. Maybe that was a test.

But me and Cooter, we iit right out of there, straight out to the desert an' we never looked back!

Anyways, we was about three weeks inta the desert, an' everthin' was fine when all of a suddent Cooter grabs my arm, points, an' I kin see his mouth sayin', 'Earless, look at that!" His -eyes was all buggy, too, an' his hand was ashakin' like he had the whiskey jumps.

Well, I looked where Cooter was apointin', but I didn' see nothin'but dry, cracked ground 'n' cactus 'n' the heat risin' in waves off the desert. 'I don' see nothin', Cooter,' I tole him. "What'd you see?"

I'll be durned if Cooter didn' say nothin'! An' for him, that was somethin'. He looked at me sideways, lookin' real strange, clamped his jaws an' jist shook his head. He looked a little redfated, too, but that mighta jist been sunburn. It was hotter'n a dead horney toad's hide an' we was both gittin' kinda crispy.

Then those danged mules of ours started gittin' real spooked like, an'one o''embtarted arunnin'in circles an'abuckin'like a burr was stuck in a real tender spot. Stuff started aflyin off it's back ever'where - bedrolls, picks 'n' shovels, canteens - and then the other un started doin the same! Danged if it didn't look like they'd both et loco weed an' thought they'd joined the wild west show!

Well, I got to cussin' an' ajumpin' up an' down, yellin' at those danged mules, then I looked over to Cooter - an he was arunnin' off toward the east, not payin' any attention at'all to whut was goin'on!

I yelled somethin' after him, but he jist kept right on agoin', not even lookin' back.

Well, I didn't know what to do! I thought I'd better catch Cooter up, 'cause he 's actin' so weird an' all -- but I couldn' jist leave the mules, neither. They mighta run off some'eres, 'n' we'd o' died fer sure without' em. By the time t got them mules to stop carryin' on an' tied to a big boulder, Cooter'd disappeared over the rise. Well" I took off to where I seen him last an' looked arould. There was nothin' to see fer a good four miles in any direction but more desert. Cooter was flat gone!

I looked around for his tracks, but the ground was so hard'n' dried up a whole herd of elefants coulda stomped through there without leaving a rnark. ['s carryin' myWinchester at the time, 'cause I was a little crawly from it all" and I fired a few shots off, thinkin' Cooter'd hear'em an' mosey on back. But he didn't.

Only thin' I could do was go back to the mules an' hope Cooter found his way back from wherever he'd got to - there was jist nothin' else I coulda done! It was a little past mid day then. When the sun finally dropped down, Cooter stili hadn't showed. I lit a fire an' I shot my Winchester off a few more times, then settled down to wait.

Some time later, I was hunkered down by the fire when I'll be danged if I didn't hear somethin' - that's right: I heered somethin'- for the first time sincet I was twelve! An' it wasn't jist some noise, it was a voice! A man's voice.

*Shoot," it said, 'don't be such a danged fool, wishin' for miracles."

Well, I like to jumped out o'rny skin, I did! I looked around all wildeyed an' yelled, *Cooter, is that you?" 'Course, it was too dark to see anythin', an I thought I must have imagined it. The desert's real good at puttin things that aren't in yer head. I knowed I couldn't have heered anythin', but I clapped my hands in front o' my face jist to be sure, an' they didn't make nary a sound.

A few seconds later, I heered the voice agin. It didn' talk this time - it screamed! Well, you coulda used my hide for a wash board it got so lumped up. Ever' critter in the desert was acrawlin' under my clothes. Then I really got the chicken bumps  --  cause I was heerin’ that voice agin  --  and it was asayin’ my name!

'Earless, oh, Earless, where are You?"

I knew right then it was Cooter I was ahearin'! I don't know how, but it was Cooter all right. I could tell easy 'cause he jist kept right on atalkin', words pourin' out like water from a busted dam!

Well, I turned my head this way an' that, an Cooter's voice ror.rA.a a mite louder to the East, so's I packed up one o' the mules real quick an' headed that direction.

After 'bout two hours, I began to 'preciate why all the townsfolk hid from Cooter. As mrich as he talked, he sure didn' say notffin', an’ most didn't make no sense at' all. He went on an’ on, ‘bout ”'talkin' coyotes” an “wishes." I tell you it was crazy! '

Course, I hggered I was pro'ly crazy my- own self, thinkin' I was ieally heaiin' Cooter, of maybe I was dreamin' - but all I could do was to keep on afollerin' his voice, so I did.

Well, around daybreak, that ol' mule t had with me started actin' real skittish -- iist like it'd done afore. I glanced around to see what mighta spobked it - an' up on the ne_xt ridge I saw somethin' th;t made sweat pop out all over me! It was a coyote - a danged big coyote. An'it had two heads!

Well, I jerked my rifle up to my shoulder an was jist fixin' to squeeze off a rornd when I heered a voice agin - an' this time it wasn't Cooter.

"Please don't shoot me!' it said -- and both those coyote heads was alookin' at me!

"Don't shoot me and you kin have anything you wish for" - and the mouth of the left coyote head was amovin' with the words! Then the other head started atalkin'.

"Don't be stupid! He just wants to eat you! If you put down yer gun, he'll eat you right up! Shoot! Shoot, and I'll grant you a wish!" well, I'll be durned if I knew what to do! That two headed coyote started in awalkin' toward me, real slow like, an' all my hair started a risin' up all over.

"Spare me," the first head said. "I kin make you rich."

"He lies!" said the second one. "He'll chew yer bones. Shoot! I'm tired of being a two headed freak! Shoot us and you kin have anything!"

My head was awhizzin'by then. I started gittin' dizzy with it all, an' my Winchester started to droop.

The coyote started comin'faster! I didn't think about it then. I brought that rifle up an' fired off a round that took that coyote square in the chest! It flew straight back a few feet then flopped around on the ground for a spell, shuddered some, and died.

"Lordy, Lordy," I said. I didn't know what to make o' it at all!

Then I 'membered what the second coyote head had said, an' I thought for a second.

"I guess it caint hurt," I whispered, -= an I made me a wish.

No sooner had the words left my mouth than all of a suddent, that two headed coyote jumped up an' tore off into the desert  --  an’ I could hear both heads alaughin'! An if you never heered a coyote laugh, you aint heered nothin’

! knew then there was somethin’ terrible wrong, an' I started abackin' up. An' my boots bumped into somethin' an' I fell over it back'ards. I hit the ground hard, rolled over, an' looked back.

That's when I saw Cooter  --  an’ I started to cry.

Poor ol' Cooter was dead. Dead, dead, dead, with half his insides et up! But o' course, that's not the worst part.

I know now that coyote wasn't no coyote atall. It was the devil, sure as I'm astandin' here! An I don't know if it woulda made any difference if I hadn'a shot it. Either way, it seems, you git a wish.

I been out o' the desert fer a long spell now. But wishes, it seems, last forever. When I made mine, I was so worried 'bout Cooter I wished I could find him -- an' I did.

An' I still do. Ever where I go, I stumble over his dead, half-et body.

‘Course, Cooter'd wished that I could hear him atalkin' -- jist like him, ain't it? -- so I did. An' he's not about to stop now. Whenever I find him, Cooter sits up an' grins real big. He looks at me with his rottin" dead eyes an-' he says, "Hello, Earless!" -- an' I kin hear him jist fine.

END

Author's Note

This is another performance piece, but it reads well as a short story. However, reading text written in the language of a well-weathered desert prospector can be challenging. I hope you find it worthwhile.

Reviews

[Carrie]

This is a creepy story. It would be awesome for Halloween.

[FlatDaddy]

Thank you! Feel free to spread it around, my friend. Halloween with Earless! I like it!

read moreThank you! Feel free to spread it around, my friend. Halloween with Earless! I like it!


1

[Carrie]

Yes. An awesome way to use the old Indiann legends of coyote the trick player.

[Samuel Dickens]

FlatDaddy's been through the desert on a bike with no chain... couldn't find poor Cooter 'fore they et up his brain". This is another wild one that I assume flowed from you like a natural spring. I can imagine you doing it live and stirring up an audience. Great work, my friend!

[FlatDaddy]

Thank you, my friend, for your kind words. You know how much I appreciate your words, being such a master wordsmith yourself,

[roarke]

Great stuff here, top to bottom. Seems Texas Tall Tales is one of your specialties. I read the story before seeing your comments, and thought when reading, this would make a great spoken allowed piece. And then I read about your playwriting background and well, it makes perfect sense.

Two perfectly matched characters, yin/yang, added to the mystique of the southwest desert and viola, folklore magic. Everything about this piece was pitch perfect. On to the next.

[FlatDaddy]

I know you wrote this review a while back and somehow I missed it. It wasn't until Sam wrote his, above, that I found it. Such very kind words from you, my friend. You and Sam are the best two writers of prose we have. There is much I can learn from you.

[Scott]

You have a great ear for dialect. I have never been that bold with a character’s voice. There are a couple places where the dialogue was outside of quotation marks, but I was able to follow along.

[FlatDaddy]

Dang! You know, I must have proof-read this piece a dozen times, making newly-found corrections each time. I finally told myself it was perfect and quit. But NOOOOO, still more are lurking somewhere inside! But Scott, I thank you for noticing -- and now I have to go find those "couple of places" and root them out!

[FlatDaddy]

7/29
Dang, my computer must have had the whisky jumps when I transfered this to WC. I found a whole bunch of errors. Redfaced, I dug into them and hope I got them all. With the way Earless talks, it's hard to tell.