Antlers

Was this supposed to feel pleasing?

I was an idiot.

    I always thought that being right,

was being smart.

I wasn't proud.

I was a wreck.

I didn't believe them when I should've.

I wish I had.

I wish I had

       I wish so bad.

Saving them.

       hurting them.

  ooh anything but this.

I was wrong.

I was right.

I don't know.

Something tells me that I made a mistake.

I lied too much.

I tried too hard.

  Now she won't wake up.

  I was there.

Now she's not.

Author's Note

tbh I've moved on but yeah rip emma 2002-2009 ;-;

Reviews

[M P Ramesh]

F C,
The ultimate evaluation rests with the outside world. But that does not mean that one has no control over the happenings. The creation of art is mandatory for the possession of the key with which we can enter the world of others. The gifted ones ....as we call writers do it and doing it ...will also do it.

carry on...............


M P

[Dominik Drites]

I agree. No one has the ability to take control over what has happened and what is yet to come. It's like the ability to tell someone's emotions. You can only see what is happening, but you can't exactly control it. Pupil dilation is what I call my own little key into their world, but I can never control what they're feeling and what they're going to do due to it. I understand that I couldn't do anything about what was happening, but the reason why I called myself an idiot is because I didn't know how serious her condition was. I just can't seem to get over the fact that the entire time I treated her as if it didn't matter and that she was okay, when honestly she was dying. It's difficult, but I've moved on now. It's like seeing your very first golden hour after long years of waiting in the dark. You can finally see the things that you missed.

[M P Ramesh]

FC,
That is what theorized as original writing and the writer has no pint in chewing and get involved in smouldering over .It is the fate of a writer.....FC .....only another writer can fully read and get its full meaning. It is also destiny...no escape once you are bitten by ITS fang.....MP

[Dominik Drites]

You seem to know a lot about writing. I only ever do it as a hobby and I don't really want to pursue a career in it, however I do admire the way you talk about writing as if it is a big part of you (which I'm sure that it is.) I guess writers tend to write out their own story in the end. I'm not exactly the best at english but you've certainly sparked an interest in me. Maybe writing is just right for me. Maybe for you too. We both seem to have an insight on certain things which for me is something I don't see very often in other people. Normally people I meet tend to lack broad thinking but you seem to grasp a real concept. Honestly, the world seriously needs that.

[M P Ramesh]

F C,
It's my life....writing. There is no wonder after all......It had been....is ....shall be for every genuine writer...The writer's EGO is not the same one with other people....even scientists. Previously I had an impression that both the poets/fictionists and scientists share the same pang...But now I realise that there is a difference ....Because poets are more free than scientists in their expressions. That is because of their area of concern.
Yes...it's called wavelength. THere is no language/culture/nationality/creed/class/financial status/qualifications/profession/gender for this unity. There appears a necessity for such a honesty ...i call it intellectual honesty...as you remarked world needs it now badly.
That is only reason why I entered this blog as member ...just to enquire the spark, if any. SEE.... I do not hold any blog at all...and I am not English writer....I can ...you may say read English.....And of course has read a good volume of English literature in life....this includes other European languages also...actually I was hunting for new talent in east european languages and latin american languages....portugese or spanish.
I also do not hold any FB or and ID so far...see just now I felt a necessity....universal brotherhood can contribute a lot to literature....
I don not know whether you have got any idea about indian languages?

Lets discuss in due course.

Regards
M P

[Dominik Drites]

My primary language is french and I didn't know any english whatsoever until the first grade when I learned how to introduce myself and how to understand other people's ways of introduction. In third grade was when I started learning practical english, which was where I began grasping a hold of my vocabulary. I remember writing english in third grade and struggling A LOT. I barely even knew the difference between "ball" and "bawl." It took time, but my english grew better and better and now my accent is almost completely gone! I can speak fluently without trouble and I can also speak french fluently as well. I see you're interested in East European languages so I'm assuming french may fall under that category? I don't know any Indian languages either as you might be wondering. The only languages I can speak are english, french, and spanish. At the moment I am living outside of France, however I do wanna find a nice place in Paris or Saint-Étienne. They both look like beautiful places and I can't stand the quiet any longer :/ If you're interested in french I can definitely help with that, but spanish isn't exactly what I am best at. I was told that I hold the mind of a scientist but speak and move like an artist. Really the most artistic things I do are writing, dancing, drawing, painting, special fx, and designing. At the moment I'm working on a special fx project along with learning more about choreography so I only have so little chance to actually write anything, but there are still unfinished pieces that I'm still working on. Literature is something you've worked hard on and yet still enjoy because to you it is more of an expression or a hobby rather than something to stress greatly over. I'm also really interested in european languages and I'm delighted to see someone else with the same interest!!! Otherwise yeah I still can't even pronounce "pancakes" correctly. Instead I say "puncakes" :/

[M P Ramesh]

F C,
Thanks.
French, as far as a malyalee (keralite) is cocerned , is not a foreign language. Of course am not well versed in French. French actually took a good number of people in Keralam. I do not know whether you are aware of geography and culture and international importance of Keralam, a small state in India with 30 billion poeple. This piece of land was a colony of so many foreign invaders/ merchants to call them. Periclus...Plini..... Vasco da Gama(portugese), Dutch, French, East India company(U K)/ From 3000 BC to 500 BC the ports of keralam were famous in Est european and middle east and of all west. Y ou may wonder to learn

[M P Ramesh]

F C,
It is found very difficult to message through this small box of WC. I have got a FB account now.
M P Ramesh jethavanam
If you are also comfortable with F B please give me a friend request soon.
Actually I want to bring to your notice that the first DICTIONARY of Malayalam language was written by a German scholar named Herman Gundert who came to Keralam during 1750. May be he was about to travel in search of great Indian language SANSKRIT . All germans and french have a facination for Sanskrit, I have heard. But eventually it ended with dictionary and very important other texts. You may notice Herman Gundert is non other than the great grand father of Herman Hesse who wrote the novel " SIDDHARTHA" in german. I am under the work of translation of my works to european and latin american and african languages. More than that I am interested in the study of other languages. even lost one like QUIPU/ or the one (un known) in which Mayans wrote POPUL VOUH.
M P

[Dominik Drites]

I actually didn't know that!! I'm sorry, but I don't have an fb at the moment due to some issues, but I do have other social medias such as kik, tumblr, twitter, etc. If you're interested in any of those I can give you the usernames. I have heard about Herman Gundert while we were reading books in class, however the book didn't mention very much of him. Only one or two sentences and I don't even remember what the book was called. It was a bit interesting though. I knew that he was a german scholar but I didn't know that he was searching for an indian language and had an interest in french. Are there any other languages you're interested in? I like the Icelandic language especially since it belongs to the north Germanic. I might want to visit there someday just to see what it's like. There are a lot of languages that I'm willing to learn yet may never have the time to learn them, but who said there was a limit? Now that I see how interested you are in all kinds of languages (especially European and Latin american it seems) I feel motivated to learn more! After doing some extended research on my family, I've learned that my family lived in France a long time ago but migrated to Canada. I'm sure you would understand the reasons why the french would come to Canada. It's pretty much how most french Canadians were born. You may have heard of Giovanni da Verrazano? He was a french explorer who explored america searching for new lands in 1524 and of course there's Samuel de Champlain who settled in Montreal. Even though I'm most likely not related to these people (although that would be cool) they were french explorers that practically convinced my ancestors to come to america in search of a better life. They've been living in Canada since. Although some did go back to France (but of course there's only very few) our family is most likely to stay in Canada for a long time. My household and I are the only ones currently living in the US, although I'm not planning on staying here much longer. Also yeah, even though this conversation we've been having is extremely informative, it's still much easier and more comfortable just to message each other via websites that are meant for back and forth messaging (haha the tumblr updates from 2015) I might want to research about Sanskrit soon. It sounds interesting and considering that germans are also interested, I might want to inform some of my good friends about it as well. I've heard about it before when I was researching about my family heritage a while ago. A lot of my relatives (such as my grandmothers and grandfathers and great uncles) were interested in learning the language. My grandfather (who died before I was born) apparently knew quite a bit of Sanskrit and taught my grandmother a thing or two. I can ask her about it the next time I meet her! Thank you for informing me. As they say, "Ma porte et toujours ouverte!"

[M P Ramesh]

F C,
Actually from my profile available in writerscafe you might have gathered that I am an Indian....Keralite......living in the southern most piece of land of India having 300 kilo meters stretch and one side completely guarded by Arabian Sea. The saga of Arabian sea goes back to 5000 BC. Had a complete merchandise with almost all inhabited worlds during the times. Pepper and all other spices were bartered for Gold . Definitely there may be cultural exchanges also. Saint Thomas believed to have been traversed from this piece of land.The Arabian horses were shifted from the great ports of Kerala viz., Muziris. You can get from the old texts that there had been a tower ...called observatory at this time run by SANKARANARAYANA, an ancient astronomer lived in there. The period is in dispute may be somer where near 500 BC. The towere is now under the sea. There is much contribution towards Mathematics and of course Astronomy during the last 6500 years in India. The orthodox did not take ti here . Because of caste system. You may wonder one of the greatest mathematicians of the world name Arybatta who father of Trognometry and who was the first human to predict soalr eclipse scientifically by observing the path of Sun with naked eye was excommunicated due to the fact that he sailed in the sea which was a taboo for Brahmins at that time.He went to join Nalanda /Takshila university in the Pataliputra from the land . Alas Buddha was great man who cherished such kind of brillaince in such old universities . No trace of such excellence is now traceable in the land now. Actually the Sun tracking was a great move by Indian scholars and Mayan scholars to pin point Eartha and other solar movements. Even Sun spots and Sun wind. Europe took another 2500 YEARS TO UNDERSTAND IT WITH Galelio, Koppernicus, and D' Vinchi. see...... the issue of Sanskrit.... I will tell the world's best tragedies were written by Bhasa , a dramatist from Kerala in sanskrit. All his texts were hidden until last centruy . The conventional practitioners of a style of Kudiayattom preserved it in a raw manner for their livelihood. The reamis were got now. The literary aspect were not ralised. Because indians can not be a connosiuer for a tragedy show. Thus a great writer was left unnoticed.Actually Aurobindo who made a ashram in Pondicherry , a french colony In india even could not understand it . Aurobindo was a yogi and great thinker and writer /poet of last century in India. He is so popular in France.Mata came from France to be disciple of him/. You cansearch in google abt that.

O k.


I have no idea abt kik.......tumblr...... But twitter I ahve an account
user Id M P Ramesh.
You may pass yours . we can meet . soon.

meanwhile...... Your profile is silent abt your ranges...... pl get me briefed.


thanks


M P

[Dominik Drites]

My grandfather read a lot of books, learned a lot of languages, and travelled A LOT. When he had to go fight in the Gulf War in 1990, he unfortunately died and my grandmother couldn't continue learning anything else from him. Now she's practically forgotten a lot she has been taught due to Alzheimer's, however she still remembers a few things. I'm not really big in history (which is why I mostly just try and memorize as much as I can) but learning about the history of the french is pretty interesting to me. I've learned things that even my parents don't know about and they're even more french than I am! I am happy just to talk to you about just the general french culture if you're interested. I know that it varies depending on who and where but I mostly focus on what my family does traditionally. Have you ever had poutine? It's delicious! Now I'm glad that the french did what they did, especially the explorers who helped find land and the authors and artists who helped carve it into their history.

My twitter is @flowersinmyeyes

[M P Ramesh]

FC,
Poutine?
Great......Actually my enquires have yielded a result........... Am deeply interested in the food and cultural habits of french..... Let's begin with that. We can talk/chat through twitter.


M P Ramesh @ jethavanam

[Dominik Drites]

Actually I'm going to my grandmother's house this friday to celebrate her birthday! I'll make sure to stop by a restaurant and have some so I can take photos and maybe save some for my friends later. It's really good and it's actually a very traditional french dish. We can talk about it once i find your twitter lmao. Sorry I hadn't realized that you'd mentioned me in a post. My notifications suck atm but I can still talk. I'm reaally interested in english, french, and german literature but because our school can't exactly help us with that I mostly have to study on my own :/ Maybe we can help each other in that.

anyways ciao for now

[Dominik Drites]

*tweet (im more used to tumblr lol)

[M P Ramesh]

F C ,
I have given you a tweet in twitter...I don't know whether u got it or not? ok.

Give your profile details....name , occupation, living area .....schooling....activities....

we can help each other in languages...I also prefer it ...in a deep way
Hope we can contribute each othe...Actually am now running between my official heavy duties and my intensive work on a fiction...large one.... It took almost my five years ...and even nowhere.....a stressful perios

M P

[Dominik Drites]

Sorry this is kind of a late reply. I was away all weekend and was unable to talk. I followed you so you should see my profile on the list of people following you. If I don't answer right away on twitter it's cause I rarely ever use it honestly but if you wanna talk on there then I can manage. I can give you a bit of detail when I message you but for now I guess we should probs start using the messaging system on twitter instead lmao instead of this so ciaaooooo

-FC

[Cherrie L Bill]

A moment in time that lasts forever. You have a mighty pen to capture such a moment.