A Renunciation

A poem depicting the moment I decided to renounce my religious faith.

I became hers.

Sunflower petals were shredded

from her body

when it was believed she lured

 

a coward child,

like myself, from heaven’s gate.

It was no sin,

so I thought, was I too late?

 

I sought answers

in her Christ-weary embrace,

only to find

comfort in her lovely face.

 

I thought, “Oh God!”

Who had I become again?

I had no choice.

She was more than a love-friend.

 

Her gold Eucharist

lay flatly on her pale chest.

God was silent,

as if his spirit had left.

 

I thought, “If He,

the so omnipotent Man,

did nothing here,

then perhaps He never can."

 

I renounced faith

for even more faithful love,

only to watch

her dance in the stars above.

Author's Note

While I respect those who are religious, this is just part of my experience with religion and how it only made me confused and ashamed of my sexuality for a long time. It made it difficult to accept my love for a certain girl who passed too soon.