'Twas the night before Christmas
and I was feelin' no pain
The trimmed Scotch Pine glistened
outside it was pouring down rain
I had no idea where my wild family went?
Probably out walmartin' 'til their last dollar's are spent
Downright hungry, after drinking Scotch on the rocks
I stumbled to the kitchen to raid the breadbox
And what to my red-blood-shot-eyes should I see?
But a stale slice of Fruitcake, staring back at me.
Threw it away in a flash
Continued looking for other food stash
Then I discovered, in the cupboard high on the shelf
A jolly fat cookie jar, shaped like an elf
Without hesitation, I threw open the lid!
With anticipation of an eager old kid
Oh! I thought in spite of my silly self
I'll eat every cookie,leave none on the shelf
That cookie Jar was red, inviting and merry
But, once inside, 'twas nary
Not even one left for me
The Elf-shaped -Jar was empty as could be.
Delirious from hunger, visions of my family
out having fun, in my old head did roam
Probably at McDonald's by now
While I'm home alone, hungry as a cow!
Just then I heard in the driveway~a car!
and it's muffler did roar
'Twas my Merry 'Ole Family
coming home from the store
Their arms plum full of presents for all
I knew at glance, that they done bought out the mall
and brought me Big Macs in their sacks,oh how nice
I gobbled them down, and didn't think twice
We all shared and cared this cheerful glee
with the holiday spirit of a loving family
Merry Christmas to all
and to all a good night