In The Subconscious

In a wide, empty black field

Trying to forget you care.

My muscles are weak,

and my limbs start to shake.

I forget how to breathe,

Throwing my memories beneath,

the bed.  Crying,

         Bang!

I wake up, and the nightmare ends.

I make myself over,

and go out into the world again.

Reviews

[An owl on the moon]

You take us into the mind... the dreams, the feelings, the dark flow... and when it's all over.. you move on into the world as if nothing happened. Vivid, powerful write!

[Kyle]

I can relate to the line...."Throwing my memories beneath the bed"

Its funny how doing that makes subconsciously think that those memories will then disappear.

"In a wide empty black field," what a clever depiction of the subconscious!

[Lorraine]

Short but very contemplative. You describe our subconscious quite well--one moment you're there, and the next moment you're back to reality. Wonderful read.

Keep Writing. ^___^

[Roger Ferguson II]

i can not believe how short this is! its amazing that you fit so much in so few lines. it does remind me of a dream. it leaves me wondering how it began, but that adds to it i think =)

[Ron Reardon]

Just like a dream. Confusing, strange, a little hard to grasp. Nice job capturing that.

[Art Sun]

A nice expression of those thoughts that seep into the mind from within dreams or nightmares...they do eventually find their way out...

nice...