Bleak

Thought I was getting better
Thought I was getting stronger
Why do I feel sad
Why am I crying

I should not hurt so
Things he says
Things he does
Should no longer pain me so

But I hurt
I cry
The tears run down my cheeks
I wipe them away, but they keep falling

I think of my future
So bleak
So dim
So lonely

I can’t imagine anyone wanting me
I am nothing special
Nothing pretty
Slim, or outgoing

I could not believe someone wanted to marry me
I never had dates
Never a serious relationship
Then he came along

Swept me off my feet
Promised me the world
But never gave it to me
Only gave me grief, pain, heartache

I know its time to leave
But I’m scared
I’m terrified, of being on my own
Completely on my own

This is new for me, a huge step
A fearful leap
Of faith?
Or a fall to my death?

I don’t have a job
Not even a college education
What do I do
Where do I go

I know I can’t take much more
The pain is suffocating
Killing me
I need closeness, love, caring

This emptiness
Lack of touch
Tenderness no more
Is not the future for me