To the One Who Gives Me Pain

this is an open letter to that person i could never have. they say that a person who is in love is brittle. they easily get hurt and easily get happy, as well. either way, they should be handled with care. i wasn't handled with care, so now, here i a

I don’t know how to start. I don’t even know what to say. But I think it is time for you to finally know how I truly feel. I guess it is time for you to realize the trance you have put me under since I have fallen for you. I know I have to somehow put an end to this feeling that had taken control of my life already.

 

I don’t know how you will take it, but I have to let it out: I love you.

 

For more than a year now, I have been in the shadows loving you in silence. And it hurts like hell. I feel like a criminal in hiding, where in fact, all I could be held accountable for is loving someone I can’t have– loving you.

 

Ah. I can still remember how you caught me off guard. You just smiled and broken down my barriers. With your stare, I lost control and yielded. You touched me and I was yours. You have defied my standards, rewrote them, and made them your own.

 

Since then, the feeling I had for you grew stronger. Day by day by day, I seem to dig deeper and deeper into the pit I have fallen into. My emotions have both become a curse and a blessing for me.

 

Since then, the pain that goes with loving you had also intensified. My heart would scream out in pain every time I am with you. I would be happy but it will soon be replaced with hurtful realizations afterwards that I can’t have you.

 

I know, I shouldn’t really love you, but what can I do, I fell hard for you. I must say it was all your fault for you have pushed me too hard– now I can’t get up.

 

At first,  I couldn’t tell you how I feel  for I can’t. I couldn’t tell you because I shouldn’t,  knowing that you love another.

 

I guess I would have to be contented in loving you in the shadows. I guess I would have to be contented just watching you smile though I know those are not for me. I guess I would have to be contented to see your eyes though it is not me they are looking at. I guess I would have to be contented and happy being just your friend for I know it is all we could ever be.

 

But I am just human. I guess nobody could really blame me for wanting more. I guess it is not really a sin to hope, to dream, and to wish for you. Yes, dream, wish, and hope– these are I could do. That in my reality, you are mine and only mine.

 

Now that I have expressed what I have inside for you, all I am asking from you is a little understanding. If you should ignore this and walk away, I guess I would have to understand as well.

 

I love you and I can’t help it. I tried to stop it and move on but all I did was make a U-turn and returned to you. I guess I really couldn’t run away from this. All I have to do is face it– with all the pain included.

Reviews

[The Wave]

very emotional. very heart felt.
and very well written.

"I love you and I can't help it. I tried to stop it and move on but all I did was make a U-turn and returned to you."
that line there made me laugh, laugh because you were just writing this piece so damn good.
this reminded me a bit of something i wrote, "rest in piece". maybe you can check it out.
good job.

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

Very emotional and so sad. It makes me want to say to her, love him back.. Love is so powerful and like the song, 'Love Hurts".. even when love is returned we can be hurt. But love is so seductive and something we all want and need we cannot stop trying to find the 'one'.... I wish for you to find this 'one'.
A very emotional and heart-touching read.
Chloe

[Tate Morgan]

THAT HURT ME TO READ yOU USE MANY AN EMOTION AND I LIKE IT CAUSE I WEAR MY HEART ON MY SLEEVE tRY READING ONE OF MINE I SUGGEST A LESSON LEARNED i WANT TO BE FRIENDS
tATE