A Beautiful end(colab with CecilA)

Thanks to ceclia for the help!

An esquisite light blue rose

Covered with melting frost

It's petals now fresh with dew

Drip drops of sweet poison

For whomever's lips it touches

Now lie in death's cold thrall

Author's Note

Thanks to ceclia for the help!

Reviews

[CecilA]

GDM,

I like it a lot but I have a few ideas:

'A fragile delicate blue rose' seems like duplicate words. How about 'An esquisite blue rose' 0r 'An esquisite light blue rose' would do the job.

'Covered in a layer of frost' 'The petals fresh with dew' can't have frost and dew at the same time - unless the dew is melting.

Petals = plural; it (it's) = singular. need to rework this.

Suggestion: How about something like this?

An esquisite light blue rose
Covered with melting frost
It's petals now fresh with dew
Drip drops of sweet poison
For whomever's lips it touches
Now lie in death's cold thrall

Sorry for trying to write for you but it's the easiest way for me to show you what I'm thinking without writing an epistle about it.

[KeeD]

I like the suggestions and hope the author can take them into consideration and somehow work with them to make it his own :)

[Imagine Blade]

Excellent! Just EXCELLENT!

The layout is beautiful. The font style suited the message. The words that were used delivered the message and emotion they wanted. What else are you searching for?

It's mysterious. It's dark. It's creative.
This one is definitely one to look at.
Thank you!

[Rika]

^^ thanks blade!

[Lino Rie]

I love it. what wonderful words.^-^

[Rika]

thanks!!!

[Coyote Poetry]

A nice tale in the poem. I like the photo and the use of the blue rose to create a very good ending. I enjoyed the story in the excellent poem.
Coyote

[Mark Emerson]

Short but can say menu things the flower is dangerous and it's wet where it lies and death thrall well that was the clincher for me 100 great

[Muhammad Qasim]

Nice poem!