What matters the most?

I am one of the people who always appreciate the positive side of things

To our quest for meaning, to an unregretful life.

The answer we seek from where it all started.

It is a journey, full of calamities and a few rainbows.

It was there when we began our steps, our struggles and our accomplishments.

The baby steps, it was scary and the anxiety is high.

The experiences, both the good times and the bad times.

And the realizations, what came about the fruition of our “success”

To where we were and to where we are now, remarkable.

Thinking about the days that seems to be unwinnable and unfavorable.

Funny how the world works, it keeps on getting interesting though.

No matter what, we’d get there, somehow, we will get there.

A place manifested by our goals and ambitions.

Slowly but surely, a promise not taken lightly.

Crafted by heart with ideals and actions.

It is and will be a place worth the patience and the determination.

This I write to the people who care to what matters the most.

You and your decisions.

Reviews

[E.]

I think I see where your mind is at. It feels that you are reflecting on a long emotional journey in an ongoing search of purprose. I was surprised to notice the reflection of the emotional journey that led to this piece seems to echo more clearly after the second or third read, even though it is quite straightforward. (Or perhaps that is just related to my current state of cognitive capacity :P.)

There’s something deeper here, but I feel like the structure is holding it back. The piece reads more like scattered reflections than a clear progression of thought. For instance, lines like “we will get there” and “a place manifested by our goals” start to repeat the same message without going deeper.

I appreciate the use of classic, even cliche, phrasing, as it shows familiarity with universal themes. But abstract language, while it can be powerful, it needs an anchor, to connect to something real and resonant. For example, where you say “journey full of calamities”, “place worth the patience”, “crafted by heart. These all feel emotionaly safe and convey the emotion and the message but in that safety the message feels weakened.

My advice would be: Dare to go beyond what feels safe. Be willing to write something that feels a little raw or uncomfortable. That’s where the reader really connects. Let the emotion dig into the word bank dont let the words dictate the emotion. Ensure every line contributes to the central message. Add a vivid image or memory to strengthen the emotional bridge thereby strengthening the message.