Wishing Stars

I fell for a girl, and that night stars rained from above.

Falling stars shining so bright

Bring me my wish this starry night

I wish for her with all my heart

To my half, she’s the other part

When I see her, my heart starts to flutter

I try to speak, but all I do is stutter

By accident her hand touches mine

And in that moment....we stop time

I count the minutes until I can see her

While in my stomach butterflies stir

Yes, there are many rules that I am breaking

But this risk is worth the taking

Life as I know it is over and done

For it is my heart that she has won

Reviews

[ali]

This poem is really cute- this is a lucky girl on the receiving end on that poem! The visuals were very romantic. Your rhythm and rhyme are pretty spot on as well... The only suggestion I would say is to personalize it more by avoiding cliches, like the butterflies in the stomach and the risks worth taking- those are things that have kind of been overused in the past. In fact, I think you should consider starting a poem starting with the line that you put as the intro: "I fell for a girl..." as I find it very poetic.
also thanks for your insightful review, hope mine was just as helpful

[Dream Hunter]

this poem is beautiful! your rhyming flows so well and every word is meaningful. wonderful write. :)

its so cute and sweet. i love it. its so vivid and amazing. nice!

[Greg Skura]

Great little love poem! Well Done!

[{A}shley {B}lack @-;-]

I really enjoyed reading this poem the structure and the concept are both original and I really enjoyed the story within the poem how the innocence of simply watching stars with someone develops into an emotional bond this is really well written well done