The Window

read down left then down right.

 

 

 

 

Cotton drapes frame her window, she is blind to the sky, though daily clouds gather, all saying Goodbye.

    Imprisoned in plastic, she sits behind glass......................High-up in an attic, out of sight and away

 And gazes, eyeless, ‘cross the rooftops........................................From lifetime’s notice, rotting in sun

   In her grandmother’s old rocker..................................................Her last gasp painted mad

         Now still, with her weight..........................................................By mad artists’ hands

Nevermore gentle movement.................................................................“The Ugliness Brutal”

     Nevermore creaking gait........................................................................By The Devil’s Plans

       And no one will visit...............................................................................Taken all alone

   And no-one will know..................................................................................In frantic struggle

      Her stiff last repose.......................................................................................Shrink-wrapped

     Agape, and frozen..........................................................................................Then posed

           Death throes..............................................................................................Window-seat

        End unknown.................................................................................................For crows

            No witness...................................................................................................Entombed

             No friend....................................................................................................And always

             But terror.....................................................................................................No end

             In murder.....................................................................................................But death

                            ---------Cotton drapes frame her window, she is blind to the sky,---------

                            ------------ though daily clouds gather, all saying Goodbye.-----------------

 

 

Reviews

[A.Lee]

I like the way this starts out soft then increases and increases in intensity until the end and then softens again with the repetition of the last line. I REALLY like the feel of this. It makes you almost feel claustrophobic, trapped, like she is. Great job. Very creative.

[Annette Jay Sweeney]

I love the risks you take in your writing. I do feel after all of the playful ways of writing in the beginning that the ending becomes too robotic in form. Maybe have a few lines like that, then play with it some more? Great write!

[ashley]

This is fantastic! I love the idea, it's great! Some of the lines are a little off, nothing a little more tweaking won't fix, but the poem is fantastic! Great job! :D

[Ryan Falzon - Tymon]

What a great idea!!! I loved it how the text is shaped like a window!!! 100/100 simply for being original!! Now on to the actual poem lol!

I would recommend increasing the font slightly, it's a bit hard to read. From what I understand the person is speaking is stuck somewhere, either in a hospital or some sort of nursing home.(can't place my finger where, I'm sure high-up in an attic is a hint!) Or is simply in his/her home but unwilling to go anywhere else. The writer feels lonely, without any friends or anyone to miss him. Yet through his "window"(I'm confused weather it's an actual window or a metaphor), he can see death.