Halfway To Heaven

A mother and son, age and illness

For many years now this her place,
a tightrope walked unsteadily between life and death.
Stooped by both age and illness she sees no way forward,
planning no further than the next meal,
her life lived ever in the now.
This existence she only ever briefly escapes
with turned pages and dreams revealing what could could been,
had she not had 2 failed marriages, 9 kids, many jobs,
and many, many, more lonely nights.
On good days her mind, wit, has her tongue running humorous rings around us,
on bad, she falters, trips on words, forgets, "What was I saying.."
We drink tea, I get the latest death count,
"He/she was only," and then an age applied.
At her lowest, when most ill, I asked what gives her the strength to carry on,
if she was afraid of dying, she laughed.
"I'm not afraid of death, I fear only what I'll miss when dead, I'm to nosy to die"
And so she carries on, precariously balanced, halfway to heaven,
with me prepared,
stood down,
prepared,
stood down,
but never really ready.

Author's Note

At the time of writing this mum was on the up from yet another illness. Sadly mum passed away on 09/04/2019

Reviews

[Great Aunt Astri]

I think the 'disjointedness' adds to the 'mood'. Poor children, having to cope with the results of hardship their mother had to face. Your poem actually brought a tear to my eye. A well perceived and executed poem!

[Gee]

As kids you know no different, plus when fostered we always knew we would return home.
Thank you

[Stacy Purvis]

7 kids??? Cheese N Rice. I'd probably hang myself.
WAIT. What? Where was I? You painted a perfect picture of a dismal, hum-drum lifestyle. Then, with a twist of Death, well...Sad, really.
Why do some people get blessed with fab lives and some with...ugh.

[Gee]

Oops, have replied as a review if you would like to read

[Stacy Purvis]

Your mother is a saint...like Mother Mary and such. I loved this piece so much! xxx

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

So moving! Masterfully done vignette of a mother's life. Tender mercies. Kudos!

[Gee]

Cheers, it actually me and my old mum

[Gee]

It is......

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Cheers back! I'm sure she is very proud of you and your lovely tribute to her.

[Gee]

She has never read any of my writing, very few know that I post on here

[Alice Maria]

Death is not easy to accept. I enjoyed reading this poem. It was very relatable.

[Gee]

Cheers.....

[Ruth]

So relatable and written with such heartfelt emotion...it is damn hard to witness such and cope at times...the in-between stages and effects are never easy...love to you and your loved ones Gee...

[Gee]

Thanks Poppy, don't think mum has plans to pop off anytime soon

[Ruth]

Good :) Willpower is a great strength :)

[Gee]

'Tis indeed

[.]

This is a very relevant poem for me, Gee.

Biographical or otherwise, I identify very much at present with the words written here. To be witness to someone stranded in this place, halfway to heaven, is a very difficult feeling to have. To watch them struggle through daily life, suffering through the pains of old age while their mind and determination remains as sharp as ever is truly heartbreaking. And all we can do is watch helplessly and wait, knowing that no fountain of youth will restore them to the energetic souls they once were.

A deeply, heartfelt write. Grounded in reality and truthful experience. Fine writing.

[Gee]

Thanks Doodley. It's painful at times to watch and there are times when I have thought mum would be better off dead, but then she rallies, health improves and on we go.
Hopefully her plight is not my future.
Hope you are well

[.]

Having the same ordeal with my Father at present. Age and illness just creeps up very quickly. All we can do is give them all the love and care we can. All the best to your, Mum.

[Gee]

And to you and your dad.....

[KT-B]

totally makes sense, I really enjoyed this, I personally, love listening to my old relatives stories and how they actually start looking younger when telling stories of their youth - then old again when they start to tire, - I love that she's too nosey to die - that shows a love of life - great stuff :)

[Gee]

Thank you, glad you enjoyed KTB

[Saud Maroof]

this is incredible. Every line i read made my ears hear your character's brittle voice. by the end i asked myself a question, What is she scared of missing?

The honest reflection of your piece did not allow the feeling of disjointedness. Thank you for sharing.

[Gee]

Cheers saud. This is actually a true life interaction between me and my mum

[Saud Maroof]

I am really sorry for calling her character.

So you really check local dead count everyday?

[Gee]

Once a week ...

[Saud Maroof]

that is a very fascinating ritual. I have watched people die but never have willingly listened or read dead counts.

[Gee]

The older folk get the more dead folk they seem to know. Always a fond topic of conversation with them

[Saud Maroof]

I agree, everyone has a different philosophy of death of course when a young man some what healthy talks about death he receives stares and absurd questions. I believe if one wanted to know someone's charachter you just need to know his view on death.

[Gee]

It's your full stop, the end to a life written and hopefully remembered for a wee while after you're gone. Remembered for the good...

[Saud Maroof]

A closure. the most glorious closure. it is most appropriate ending.