Covered

I feel less like burdening friends with my problems now. I've managed to control it slightly.... although sometimes... I crack...

The cracks start to show.
Cement is coated - lavishly.
Nothing will leak out.
Nothing will get in.

Liquid longing
Laps the sides
Of a structure built for
Independence.

Where is he?

Lock it away.

I miss him.

Throw away the key.

But I love him.

Shackled and bound.

No longer serving
My cups of yearning,
To anyone who'll listen.

This brew will stay safe.
To bubble away.

Just a dab more filler,
And a new lick of paint.
Covered.

Reviews

[Crazy Cat Man]

Description- I feel less like burdening friends with my problems now. I've managed to control it slightly.... although sometimes... I crack...


wow interesting description. seems like this piece is if you are trying to cover up feelings the mourning for a lost Ex, and your friends are tired of hearing the same ol story.

No longer serving
My cups of yearning,
To anyone who�ll listen.

This brew will stay safe.
To bubble away.


jeah sometimes we have to learn to let go or we will lose our friends too....you are a poet

[Helen Woodward]

Unrequited Love is one of the most heartbreaking feelings in life, but there's always light at the end of the tunnel! Just hope it's not a train! You've concreted yourself into oblivion, sometimes we need the cracks...as a means of escape. People do not always add up to our estimation of them and because we build them up in our minds we are inevitably let down, and the pain begins. Don't serve your cups of yearning to anyone...it's still a two-way street with warning and
stop signs in clear view, we just need to read them.
A nicely structured poem, easy to read and not too obscure...it's meaning is cloudless.
Keep writing!

[Barry Simiana]

i am constantly amazed at how many layers of text and subtext you weave into your work. i see metaphors for using ,akeup to hide scars to building a wall around to protect. for some reason, and don't ask me to explain because i can't, but the most memorable line for me is " A smile in a pot." i think that is magic. lipgloss, a stored smile, just so many levels.
as usual, excellent work.

[Taja B.]

I really like this poem. It's well written and and really enjoyed the imagery. Plus, I really like the meaning behind this. If I'm not mistaken, this poem is showing that the person in this poem trys to block old feelings about a certain person and trys to move on-no matter how much they miss them. Because this girl knows it's for her own good. At least that's my interpretation.

Nice job.:)

[Cdnsurfer]

Hey Gillzy, you have some lovely images in here, especially:

No longer serving
My cups of yearning,
To anyone who�ll listen.

A smile in a pot.
Covered.

The stoicism at the front end of this piece opens this piece to the raw emotion inside. The internal debate between self trying to be strong despite the feelings of loss was well done (almost like a Greek chorus). Yes, we all put on our "faces" for life while inside we burn and yearn, but ah ... that is what poetry is all about, isn't it? Get those feelings expressed on the page. Very well done. Good imagery throughout. You're still getting better ... wonder what you'll be like in a year? Send me a copy of your book. ;-)

[Fabian G. Franklin]

It's better to slip out the cracks from the inside out than to fall through the cracks from the outside in. A great write.

[Bubo]

Trying to hide or cover those emotions is sometimes
as painful as showing them!
Lovely piece although sad.............and loved the metaphors used.

The cracks start to show.
Cement is coated - lavishly.
Nothing will leak out.
Nothing will get in.

Liquid longing
Laps the sides
Of a structure built for
Independence.

and the bold ......trying to block him out!
Loved the arguement!
But it won't last long before the cracks become to
large to cover!

[Mary]

Its hard at times to stay silent when we are feeling so much, what is worse is when no one seems to be able to understand our pain.

Excellent use of metaphor, "cups of yearning",

It had a great flow, I also liked the abruptness of the ending with just one word "covered." Well done. I applaud you. Keep up the writing, its a great way to vent.