He Did Not Kill Himself!

Be sensitive to your loved ones. You don't know what hell they are going through!

HE DID NOT KILL HIMSELF, DEPRESSION DID!

           Mockery! Yes, it's a big mockery when you belittle those who are not strong enough to face all the pains caused by rejection, insult, betrayal, shame, loneliness, insecurities, and more... The very sad thing is, people make fun with it; instead of mourning for the death, they make it as a laughing stock, and the jokes go on and on...How insensitive and inhumane! Where is your heart! Not everyone is as brave and strong like you, so if you think it's a very little thing, and you cannot relate at all, then, could you just please keep your mouth close, say nothing at all, by doing so, at least you are not adding insult to the wounded heart and soul of the loved ones. I never knew how painful it is to lose a child, not until I heard the death of my student. He was smart and a happy boy. He was very appreciative of the Word of God. Everytime we open the Bible and discuss it in class, his eyes sparkles. One day, he wrote me a letter, "Dear Ms. Vosotros, thank you for teaching me. Your words are like perfume, it's fragrant like a sweet flower..." I knew what he meant; it's all about the Word of God that he heard. Those 3 years I spent with him in his elementary years is enough for me to know that he had a personal relationship with JESUS. I know he's saved, I saw it in his eyes, and in his actions... But I don't know what happened next after he left. All I know is, he left us with good memories of his happy disposition in life. His death is a wake-up call for me to be more intentional in reaching out my students. I have to make sure that everyone who comes to my class will never leave the room not knowing how to fight the battle of depression. There's not a month that I don't get depressed. The feeling is not easy, it's choking me to death, but if I am still alive today, it's not because of me, but because of my awareness that GOD is with me. Hearing the death of my student plus the shameful experience on that day was so depressing, I felt like I cannot breathe, and was tempted to do what my student did, but when I call the name of GOD to save me from that horrible pit, he let me sleep, and when I wake-up, everything was very fine, as if nothing happened at all. That was a miracle! If I am still alive today, it's not because I am strong enough to fight, the only thing I did, was, to call the name of JESUS, and the rest, it's all HIS. Depression is a true cruel killer. If my student died, it's not because he killed himself. No, he did not kill himself, depression did! If only he was in his right mind to face it with God, God could have saved him, but he chose to make that strong liquor as his resort. God's help is available and free, but it has to be claimed daily. His death gave me a profound lesson, and made me understand better God's purpose for my life. I could not bring his life back, but I could still do something in the lives of my students, and the rest of the people around me today. There are more to reach out, and I praise God for all the depressing moments in my life for it taught me not to be judgmental but to be more understanding over the weaknesses of others. Everything is only by God's grace!