Nothing can come close (poem version first attempt)

12-9-12 I think this one fails, I'll try and better it eventually.

No elegant imagery, no matter how craftily painted

No mere words, no matter how intricately woven

Can ever come close to describing my feelings

 

No measure, volume, or amount of any sort

Can describe how much I wish you were beside me

Nothing formed by my mouth can get you to understand

 

No desire to give up, something inside hangs on

No inclination, no sign, not even a shred of evidence

That this could possibly turn out

Yet still I hear to wait

 

Lack of understanding surpassed only by desire

Pain is immense, yet still I look past it

Nothing could keep me from wanting to work through it

 

Vast desire to express my deepest feelings

No elegant imagery, no matter how craftily painted

No mere words, no matter how intricately woven

Can ever come close to describing my feelings

Nothing could grasp a single shred or scratch the surface

   But here is another attempt.

Reviews

[Serenity Faith]

I genuinely liked this! Especially the way it ended..."but here is another attempt" despite not truly saying how you felt....you said how you felt. I think that's what I like most about it, if that makes any sense. Poetry isn't always structure. It's your feelings and thoughts and how you express them. I think you're doing a darn good job of it.

[Jeremia]

I am pretty sure I understand yes. By describing yet not really describing, you leave more up to the imagination. It kinda entices the brain. It is encouraging to hear that you think I am doing a good job. Haha makes me happy. :) Thanks

[Serenity Faith]

You're most welcome ^_^