Fleas And Scream

A humorous and itchy tale of a flea invasion at home and workplace. What an embarrassment!

There once was a courtyard not far from my door, where a dog tied to trees made the fleas start to soar. 

They bounced and they pounced without shame or a plan, 'til they claimed my whole hallway, like “Catch us if you can!”

I sprayed and I scrubbed, I gave them no slack, but each time I stepped out"they launched an attack. At work one jumped ship from my leg to the table, my coworker screeched loud"like a goat in a stable. 😵

“Is that a FLEA?!” she gasped, as she bolted away, “I knew you were wild, but THIS? Not today!” I smiled through the shame, though my eye gave a twitch, From a night with no sleep and an ever-growing itch.

Landlord says, “That’s strange… the dog’s not even theirs.” Yet it’s clear who was feeding it, tying it there. Now the doghouse still stands"vacant throne of despair, While the flea royalty reigns... on my socks and my chair.

So dear health department, I beg and implore, send justice, and bug spray, and maybe some more. This isn’t a joke (though I’m trying to laugh), I just want peace… and my dignity back.

Author's Note

This poem is based on a very real—and very itchy—experience. If you've ever battled fleas, dealt with stubborn landlords, or survived a dramatic coworker moment, I feel you. Laughter helps. So does bug spray.