Writerscafe shouldn't be a gatekeeping opportunity

I have been on writerscafe for over a decade at this point. In that time, I have encountered and interacted with some truly wonderful people and writings. This community truly is unique and I would love for it to remain that way to all comers. Any way I can contribute to that, I will.

I do not feel like I should have to justify every action I take, but in this case I will make an exception so that maybe a change can occur.

As anyone who has reviewed me may have noticed, I do not respond to reviews. 

I have not for many years. I used to, back when I first joined, but then I stopped. I stopped for many reasons. I did not want to just say thanks. That felt insincere after a while and could get annoying if you ever happen to get a bunch of reviews at once. It also reduced the chance of me feeling the need to respond when someone left a review I didn't appreciate as much. 

If there has been any confusion about my attitude towards reviews, let me clear it up. I appreciate anyone who takes the time out of their day to appreciate my work and say something. (I appreciate you even if you don't say something and I never know because that's what I think every writer hopes for - to touch someone's mind or heart). I sincerely hope that anyone who reads my stuff and reviews does so because they like it. Not because they feel obligated to.

That's how I treat reviewing. I review anything I like and am drawn to. I review anytime I have something to say and I try to make it a meaningful review. I'm not perfect, and sometimes that probably is not communicated, but it is my intent. 

I have left well over a thousand reviews on this site. I have seldom gotten a review back. I do not expect one. I have rarely gotten a thanks. I do not expect one. I reviewed because I wanted to. I hope that whatever I had to say helped that person and I move on. 

No one is entitled to a review. 

No one is entitled to a thank you.

Sure they may be nice, but the fastest way to ruin anyone's good intentions is to demand it as a right.

And I completely understand if that means some people chose not to review me. Or read me. Or ever interact with me again. That's their choice. All I ask is that if you don't like me or how I operate, leave me alone. I'm not trying to bother you; don't bother me.

Author's Note

I feel like this should have a quick post script added. For those who’ve already reviewed this is 3/15/24. I welcome any and all discussion on the topic. Even if anyone disagrees and thinks I’m wrong. There are some things I did not say. This was in response to a specific interaction where I received continued (I would call it harassment) from someone who felt they could pressure me into doing things the way they decided I should. Secondly a large reason why I no longer respond is I simply have no time. I work a full time job. Just last year that meant 60+ hr work weeks. I do not have the time to be on here like I did when I was in high school.
As mentioned in the post, I do not respond to reviews and would find it hypocritical to start now (not to mention all the previous reasons still apply) but if anyone would like to personally discuss anything I’ve said with me, a message is always welcome. Assuming it’s not hostile of course.

Reviews

[Lorry]

Well at least now they can't say they don't know and yes, isn't it surprising how many people know all these completely unwritten rules about how this place works, despite everyone else thinking they know better too!
I remember one person tell me that they only review people who review them and didn't even see the obvious flaw in saying we should all do that! It took me about three seconds to figure out that I'd we all did that, we'd be forever waiting for our first review and I've even seen her giving that same piece of advice recently to a new writer!
Maybe that's how it works here, with everyone thinking their thoughts are right and never accepting change.
I doubt it though and doubt I know any better either.
I mean, personally I'd have a button that gave anyone who started a review with "well I just think....that gave them a shock, but that would only lead to mayhem when someone would hack it and turn it up from mild shock to electrocution.
Maybe it is best to let people be without resorting to making people pee themselves and just always look on the bright side of life (tee time tee diddle um 🎶)

[apennylate]

My daily attempts at long-winded side scrolling word adventures have left me nary the breath left to catch...
I am going to give this the good ol' college effort, as it is a subject I am most passionate about.

""I have been on writerscafe for over a decade at this point. In that time, I have encountered and interacted with some truly wonderful people and writings. This community truly is unique and I would love for it to remain that way to all comers. Any way I can contribute to that, I will.
I do not feel like I should have to justify every action I take, but in this case I will make an exception so that maybe a change can occur.""

*Agreed, and I like how we clearly stated our intent at the start, humbly. Change can only happen when someone actually friggin' tries, so I am all aboard thus far.*

""As anyone who has reviewed me may have noticed, I do not respond to reviews.
I have not for many years. I used to, back when I first joined, but then I stopped. I stopped for many reasons. I did not want to just say thanks. That felt insincere after a while and could get annoying if you ever happen to get a bunch of reviews at once. It also reduced the chance of me feeling the need to respond when someone left a review I didn't appreciate as much. ""

*As someone who once sought out external validation for his writing, and having found that validation, realizing it was about as helpful as a drawer full of holey socks... It IS insincere, to fathom emotional connection to each and every person who throws a string of it at you.*

""If there has been any confusion about my attitude towards reviews, let me clear it up. I appreciate anyone who takes the time out of their day to appreciate my work and say something. (I appreciate you even if you don't say something and I never know because that's what I think every writer hopes for - to touch someone's mind or heart). I sincerely hope that anyone who reads my stuff and reviews does so because they like it. Not because they feel obligated to.
That's how I treat reviewing. I review anything I like and am drawn to. I review anytime I have something to say and I try to make it a meaningful review. I'm not perfect, and sometimes that probably is not communicated, but it is my intent. ""

*you do not want tit for tat. quid pro quo is nice to give our ego a bump. but when it comes time to give back, are we doing it for justifiable reasons or for a pat on the back?*

""I have left well over a thousand reviews on this site. I have seldom gotten a review back. I do not expect one. I have rarely gotten a thanks. I do not expect one. I reviewed because I wanted to. I hope that whatever I had to say helped that person and I move on.
No one is entitled to a review.
No one is entitled to a thank you.
Sure they may be nice, but the fastest way to ruin anyone's good intentions is to demand it as a right.
And I completely understand if that means some people chose not to review me. Or read me. Or ever interact with me again. That's their choice. All I ask is that if you don't like me or how I operate, leave me alone. I'm not trying to bother you; don't bother me.""

*I have accrued over a thousand reviews on this site alone, and let me tell you... it hurt more than it helps. period. Have left over quadruple the amount of reviews for others, than I have received for myself mind you, so did I do it seeking comfort in the arms of the many?
That can only leave you bereft of the ability to conjure self solace.*

Which... in the end, is all we have...
Ourselves.

[Soren]

I completely respect your decision to do as you do. I am the opposite and have made it a habit to respond to anyone the reviews my pieces, not because I feel obligated to but simply to express my appreciation for their taking time to read my pieces. I like you write for my own self but I do appreciate hearing how they come across to others. No judgement here just an expression of gratitude to you for taking time to read my work and hope that you will respect my difference as I do yours

[Ken Simm.]

I am leaving a review on this because I would like to be associated with the view it espouses. I do leave reviews but only for writes and pieces I can say something good, encouraging, or profound about. If I don't like something I say nothing.
Encouragement I think is key here especially for the young or the new. Do more a review might say. But I hate seeing reviews that tell me how to do my craft. And what I could do better. That is unfortunately the way of the world in many cases. People always think they are better than others. When in actuality they are only showing that they are adherents to the Dunning Kruger effect.
I also review work that interests me and not just from friends. I don't enjoy some and so I don't review even if the person is a friend.I also don't become friends unless the person can show that they have read my work.

[Tom]

Yes, I fully concur with the frank and open sentiments penned here!

[Tom]

An open, honest, matter of fact presentation and indeed, thhe cafe here a wonderful place to compose, present and submit one's work also interact with similiar likeminded poet's/writers and /or simply lovers of the written word, though that does not/should not compel or the require the need to recipricate in kind, we all are unique, have our own styles so live and let live, be respectful to others here, thus none shall feel
any duress nor restriction to enjoy Writerscafe online!

[Zombified Spider]

#REAL You should not feel the need to reply to reviews. I do not expect anyone to reply to my stories, I am not entitled to a review. I probably don't want a review because I like to insult people, I'm like Vinnie from Girls Who Don't DnD. I can be so rude sometimes. I'm saying this as I'm silently judging people, and drawing smiley faces on myself in blue pen.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

No one should feel forced to do anything, on a site like this or in any other aspect of life.
But this site is great for the interactions poets may have with each other. I don't feel obligated to say thank you to those who have reviewed me, but it is a natural reaction...I appreciate they have read my work and like to acknowledge that...I also feel that reciprocal reviews are not obligatory...but that is the interaction that helps develop our own work and maybe the work of others.
Poetry is not the most popular genre...and often I feel other writers, novelists etc, might look down on what we do and think it is just a fun hobby. But those of us who are serious poets know how special the other poets are to us for support and inspiration.
AGain...to each his or her own...and no one is forced here to do anything, and should not be forced.
But then acknowledgement of each other and each other's works is the magic that makes us a family.
j.

[Poetic Beauty]

I have been on here since 2010. I have read pieces I didn’t know how to review and said nothing even though I read it. I have reviewed many pieces. I understand the feeling of being overwhelmed to respond to others when they have reviewed but now I respond when I have a chance and don’t feel obliged. I have forged so great friendships with other poets and writers on this site over the years and some have left some still remain and new faces and write to the mix as well.

I’m completely understand not responding if there isn’t a purpose for it. For me there is a purpose…
The interaction with fellow writers and I’ve been blessed with some who have taken time to teach me and help me grow in my writing over the years