The Choice is Yours

Which side wins? The one you choose to take . . .

He stood

on her left

while

the other floated

on her right.

A hiss of a snake

slithering around her ear--

ordering her

to do it!

while

a chirp of a robin

hopping above her head--

asking of her

to avoid.

The edge of a knife

seductively stroking her neck--

explaining it is solely

for the best,

while

the softness of a feather

gently patting her shoulder--

saying it is only

for the worse.

An aura of evil

painting her thoughts in black--

arousing her senses 

long were dormant,

while

an aura of good

attempting to color her thoughts in white--

 soothing her senses

in need of rest.

Victory!

For he was too attractive to resist

as she sleeps with the devil

among flames of destruction

while

failure!

For he was not enough tempting

and she banishes the angel

back to the heavens.

DARKNESS  

Reviews

[Davidgeo]

You are very clever.

I imagine two tiny little a*****e versions of myself. . .
reading these words to the other. It's delightful.

You've got them ++ skills and s**t. It's not easy to write well and have a genuinely clever presentation Well done sir, well done.

[guy drori]

Thanks for the review. Amd yes, I think we all have a dark and light side that each is complicated by itself and consists of so many factors, because rarely things today are black and white.

[Yari Garcia]

I've said it to other writers before, but I'll say it again~ I love poetry that not only uses words, but spacing and structure in a creative way.

I love the look and feel of this poem. By putting the two points of view on opposite sides of the screen, you have created more than just a reading experience, but a visual one.

Well done!

Yari

[guy drori]

Thank you for your review Yari.
And yes, I agree- granting a visual experience to the reader is also something that adds to the writing

[Diamond]

Wow!! Isn't this just the way life gives us situations to make ethical choices. An agonizing ending though for following the instinct instead of conscience. And the right was on the right...it was a clever image you made.

[guy drori]

Thanks for the review, appreciate it. And yes I definitely agree with you (And sorry for the late reply :)

[Valentine]

Nice write, deep and some what truthful. You might want to edit the last word to DARKNESS instead of the word DARNNESS. Valentine

[guy drori]

Thanks for the comment Valentine, and you're right! Have to edit the mistake I did with the word 'Darkness' :)
(Sorry for the late reply)

[Dara]

I love the way you presented this work visually as well as the images that were portrayed. I think many of us can relate to the temptations and the struggle to follow one's head. Great piece of writing, indeed.

[guy drori]

Thank you Dara . . . very much appreciated.
Yes, I think that many people can relate to the constant struggle - battle even, between good and evil, and their inner angels and demons as well which can often tear apart from the inside. It's a never ending war basically . . . and the side that wins? The won you feed . . . as mentioned in a quote between the two wolves of evil and good

[Dara]

Ah, I know of the quote of which you speak. It is a profound one.

[Quinn W]

The entire time I was reading this I pictured those cartoons with an angel on one shoulder and a tiny devil on the other. I loved the layout of the poem. I think it really did justice to it and really helped organize the story. Can't wait to read more of your writing!

[guy drori]

Thank you . . . I appreciate your review.
Indeed, when I wrote this I also imagined what you did - an angel on one side of the shoulder and a demon on the other side like in cartoons.

Waiting to read your writing as well :)