An Apple for Her(revised)

Fantasy senryu challenge

       fresh chalk on her dress

                       a red apple for her day...

                         hoping she'd kiss me

 

Author's Note

I hope I got the 5-7-5 right. Here's my shot at it.

Reviews

[Peter H]

yes you hope for that you naughty child you ;) good write my friend

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

yea, i was. lol thanks for the review.

[Adora.xo]

Haha, very cute.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you, Adora.

[Shaun Payton]

You got it. Some teachers are hot..mentally and physically lol

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Lol they absolutely are!

[Shaun Payton]

Now i wish i was back in school lol

[icelandicblue]

Love it, so much sweeter than hot for teacher.

This is wonderful.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you, I more than appreciate your thoughts on this piece.

[Sirius King]

my first crush was a teacher, she was a hottie too lol

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

lol this one was for all those teachers we used to daydream about. haha

[Sirius King]

they were teaching us things and didn't even know it :-))

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

lol Thats the straight truth!

[Sirius King]

hahaha

[Samuel Dickens]

This one made me laugh. Yeah, I had a couple of teachers like that.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Those are the ones we never forget.

[Angi]

So sweet. I can see that shy little boy. Lovely senryu! Angi~

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

How did you know i was shy? ;)

[Rita L. Sev]

Sweet - crushing on a teacher! Good job with the senryu format!

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you, i have to revise the 2nd line, but i'm gonna get right next time around. And i was crushing on her in a big way. lol

[Renée]

Very Sweet..on the teacher ( ;

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Yea, my fascination with older women started early. lol

[Renée]

nothing wrong with a healthy mind ( :

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Can't argue with that. lol

[Renée]

( ;

[Rogue]

This made me smile. There was something so innocent and sweet in those three lines.
Loved it! :)

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

I'm glad you enjoyed it, Rogue. ;)