Dawn

I wrote this because I wanted to try out writing a Choka. A Choka starts out like a Haiku 5-7-5 sylables but then has 5-7 lines until the end which is 7-7.

Dawn

Every morning comes

Fresh, lively, full of pleasure

Dawn, infant of day

 

Dawn is short lasting

Although ever remembered

 

Dawn, mellow colours

Swimming over horizons

 

I live on the memories

And hope to see it again.

Author's Note

What do you think of the overall sound and meaning?

Reviews

[Dupree]

This is a great poem with a good flow. Gives the reader a mental picture

[...]

... beautifully written ... very picturesque ... profound too ... "short lasting although ever remembered" ... excellent choice of words ... and the last two lines are absolutely exquisite ...

"I live on the memories
And hope to see it again."

[[.:SiMpLy FoRgEt Me:.]]

The sound is rythmic and flowing, and the words correctly describe the essance and ambiance of the poem. Dawn is a time for rebirth and there is definately talent behind this. Keep the pencil writing. :)