Back Then

We all have time in our lives that we want to forget. Sometimes, it is easier said than done when those memories are seared into your brain.

There's not a lot I remember
Back then.
The penny gumball machine
At the railroad office;
Men around a table watching
And laughing
As I coughed on cigarettes
And choked on beer;
Singed toys being removed
From a cast iron fireplace:
Hiding in the bathroom
When the police were called

 

My sister remembers more
Back then.
Talking for me when
Nobody understood.
She remembers coming home
With cigarette burns on my back.
She remembers a lot more
Of what I would want
To forget.

 

What I remember most from
Back then
Was the yelling, the lies
The bias, the accusations
The struggles to prove myself
And failing,
The disappointment of not knowing
What else I could do
To stop the pain.
I remember shutting down
And turning away.

 

Now I will remember
Each time my wife says
I love you
And how the little things
Make her proud of me;
Hearing my daughters on the phone
Asking when I'll be home
Watching my son drool
On one of my old toy cars
And I wonder
When they grow up,
What will they remember of me
Back then?

Reviews

[K.C. Zbryk]

I like how you wove these memories into this piece and had them dead end with you remembering your youth while pondering what their memories will be. Its touching in a way, and very inspitational. This kind of poem makes me reflect on my life in a lot of ways as well. Very inspirational and a fantastic write