Being Secure With My Insecurity

This is a piece from experiance and I believe that it was a stage that I had went through, but now I'm happy to be who I am and what I look like. No one is going to tell me any different!

   "All these people in the way." I said, moving through the crowded hallway. At Hilltop High School,
me & my girls are known as the popular ones. We get away with about anything & everything. We
think that everyone likes us, but honestly I know
that some people don't.

     I was on my way to my second period class & I ran right into the bully of the school. " Get your big self out of the way." she said. I looked at her up & down, like who did she think she was talking to. I never had someone talk to me like that in my whole life of living, " I'm sorry I didn't see you there."

" Well, maybe you should watch were your going."
I said sorry & walked away from her.

     While sitting in second period, I was thinking over what Jesse, the bully, had said to me. I looked down at my stomach while sitting in my seat & I saw what she was talking about. I was getting fat. I could see a lump going over my belt. What was this? I couldn't be getting fat! I've been exercising & eating all the right foods. What's going on?

      By the time lunch time came around I didn't go through the lunch line, instead I just set at the table where me & my friends always met for lunch. Once my friends had gone through the lunch line, they came to the table & took there seat. " Hey, Ginger why aren't you eating?" my friend Tammy asked.
" Because I don't feel so good."
" Oh, are you sure you don't want me to go get you
something? There's some good stuff up there today."
" No, I'm fine."
" OK. Suit yourself," I sat there in silence, thinking
about what I could do to help myself loose this
weight.

      When I got home that day from school, my mom already had dinner ready. It was a big pot of spaghetti & a pan of garlic toast.
" Wow, mom. Cooking for a football team?" I asked.
" The Rights are coming over from my work & they
would love to have some of my famous spaghetti. Aren't you gonna want some?"
" Yeah. Of course."
" Well go get cleaned up & get that nasty school
scum off of you."
" OK." I take myself up to my room & get myself ready. I clean myself up & redo my hair. Honestly, I've never met these Rights people that my mom are talking about. It's always good to make a good first impression. When I finish myself, I hear voices that I've never heard. It must be the Rights. I go back down stairs & I spotted the Rights. 

     After we introduced ourselves to each other we headed to the dining room table to eat. I finished my food pretty quick, because I was pretty hungry from lunch. " Mom,

may I use the restroom?" I asked.
" Yes." 

I excused myself from the table to use the restroom. When I got to the restroom I locked the
door behind me & I wrapped up my hair & bent down over the toilet & started throwing up my food. When I came back out of the restroom my mom's friend was standing there, about to enter the restroom, until she saw my eyes were looking blood

shot. " Are you OK?" she asked.
" Yeah. I'm fine," I said, trying to play it off. She walked into the bathroom & I walked back into
the dining room. We all finished up our dinners & after that, my parents walked the Rights to the door.
" Ginger,please come down here!" my mom yelled for me. I got myself up from my bed & drug myself down the flight of stairs. " Yeah."
" Come talk to us," my dad said.
" OK," I sat down across from my mom.
" Mrs. Right said that when she went to use the bathroom you came out looking like you just shot up some drugs. Is that what you were doing?"
" No."
" Then what were you doing?" my dad asked.
" OK, today I've noticed that I've gained a couple
pounds & I don't like how I look. I'm the popular girl in the school & I don't need to be looking like a big blob."

" So, your throwing up your food?" my mom asked.
" Yeah."
" Were you going to carry on with it?"
" No. Just until I saw my weight go away."
" You don't look fat or anything. Your beautiful. You don't need to change anything. I understand that your that popular girl & you think that you have to carry yourself upright. You don't. It's the attitude that you need to hold upright," my mom explained.
" OK. Now can I go back to my room?"
" Yeah." I went to my room & crawled up in my bed & escaped into my dreams.

    The next day I got my self ready for school, I looked into the mirror like I always did & thought to myself that my mom was right. I just know that people bring you down, because they're insecure. Not you! I'm perfect just the way I am. I don't need any kind of change!

Reviews

[Avinash]

This simple story gives a great message which you can carry throughout your life. In my school and college I did try to see myself from others eyes but little did I know that they all are watching from their own glasses not my eyes. All that matters how you are inside and that reflects outside. As far as haters are concerned they do not need any space in your head and by bullying that is what they try to do. Encroachment....do not allow any. Thanks for inviting.

[Heartful5160]

Thanks for reading my story. I hate to know that there are people out there that go through this everyday, I just hope that one day they'll wake up and see that we were made to look and be different from others. Don't be the same!

[Blank_fortunes]

Yeah what a sad world it would be if we all Looked them same. Liked this one too.

[Heartful5160]

Thank you, again. I can't thank you enough. I don't think the world would be that unique if we all looked the same. I agree with you. Thanks, again!

[kick your buttercup]

I love this story cause you showed how words can effect others, even if they say it out of spite it will linger until you get closure with it. I also love how you ended it with the positive message of " Be you're self."
Great Job can't wait to read more.

[Heartful5160]

Thanks for reading it. All my experiences I love sharing with others to see if they could hopefully get something out of it and I'm glad you did. Some people would consider me too strong minded, but I would think of myself someone with strong opinion or thinking about what others would get out of my message. But thanks for reading!

[kick your buttercup]

I think we need more people like you in the world especially for us girls. Who need to make our voices heard, and I love how you're using personal experiences in your writing it makes it stand out even more in my opinion.

[Heartful5160]

I wanna be that role model for the woman and young girls, because these days it seems like it's getting worse and worse. People look at me and they jump to conclusions about who I may be, but they really don't know, until they get to know me. Then they think I'm just crazy, saying you know, how would someone like you want to change the world or how would you change the world and all I can say, is read my work. I want to spread the word about my beliefs and how to change the world and how to help others. I want people to get something out of my work. Not just entertainment, but a special message and if you read more of my work, there's at least one message in every piece.

[kick your buttercup]

You are right on so many levels about how its getting worse especially with people judging other people. They just think their is no more right in the world and no one can do anything. But all it takes is one person to stand for what they believe in to change. Also i've read you're work it's truly inspiring.

[Heartful5160]

Thank you so much for reading my work. I have so many dreams and goals to achieve and there going to be completed. I know I'm only 16 years old and there's only so much I can do, but it's going to happen. There's a quote out there saying, " People who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do." I live by that quote everyday. People can't tell me I can't do nothing, because all I do is prove them wrong.

[Don't just B, but B ama..]

Very strong attitude displayed here, love it. Powerful mindset that can not be distracted by some peoples ignorance. Well done.

[Heartful5160]

Thank you very much. Once again, this was an experiance of some sort that I would like to share. Thanks for reading and reviewing it. I take it all to heart.

[TheLostMind]

You send a really good message in this one - "be yourself. Don't let criticism affect you". People will always be to comment. Personally, I believe that the key to inner peace is in accepting the truth. . Accepting that we are not perfect. . Accepting that nobody is perfect. . I belive in finding the right soul instead of the perfect body. . A really good write :)

[Heartful5160]

Thank you. This was a experiance and I guess a phase as well. I had struggled on my weight and what I looked like, because everyone else was wanting to see me a different person and you know, after awhile, I realized that I was hurting myself in the long run. I wasn't helping anything. But one day I finally woke up and saw the true me. I'm happy with my body and I don't need to be no stick figure, walking the runway, because that's not me. I know who I am and if anyone ever goes through that, I pray that they will too, soon find their true selves.

[Katie]

I love the story! It deals with a big issue in our society. :) Great job!

[Heartful5160]

Thank you for reading my work.

[Katie]

I think your an amazing person the way you use your personal experience to try to help other people.

[Heartful5160]

Well, I've been through a lot of things in my life, and I try to use it to the best of my ability. But, then I love sharing my experiances with the world, because people think that you know if you go through something so dramatic like I did in the story, I Held On, some people wouldn't want to share that, but I did, because I wanted people to know that if you go through something like that life's not over, to me it was just beginning. All the experiences I go through, makes me a stronger person.