Into the fire

My first poem. I wrote it in less than five minutes.

As I lay into the fire
The fear of death grabs hold of me
My soul is being devoured
By an entity known as my mind

There is no escape
The mind is my greatest enemy
I am afraid
What will happen if I give into the chaos?

Releasing my life is not an option
I am a coward who fears death
Death reigns sovereign upon me
I will live

Living on into the chaos
The chaos that has consumed everything
This world, life and my mind.

Author's Note

You can correct my grammar if it's off.
Any kind of criticism is welcome. :)

I want to thank ''Rev. LeRoy James'' for his constructive criticism. It has helped me improve a little. :]

Reviews

[Rev. LeRoy James]

You've created some really impressive imagery with this poem, what throws me off in the change in point of perspective in the last two stanzas. I'm really not sure about 'layeth' in your last line, it just doesn't seem to fit with the established verbal scheme. This definitely is the foundation for an impressive piece with a little polishing. Keep that ink flowing freely!

[Sarah Hobbit]

Trying to fight the chaos around us is hard but we have to try. I like this poem.
Sarah :-)