Lovers

This is a poem that was given good reviews by my friends. I'm looking to see how the general audience views it.

Lovers

I met a boy.

He is the cutest thing I ever have seen.

When our eyes met, the world ceased to exist.

And when our hands touched, fireworks exploded.

But it was when our lips met that I fell deeply, madly in love.

But I can never forget what happened in bed.

Naked before my one true love, and all he can say is…

“You’re a GUY?!”

Reviews

[Cherry]

I find it sad that your feelings weren't reciprocated but the last line indicates you may not have told him the truth or left out one essential and important part of you maybe he should have known?

[Heran]

That's a nice remake. Or is it supposed to be a synopsis?

[Dave]

I met a boy.

He is the cutest thing I've ever seen.

Our eyes met, our hands touched

The world ceased.

Our lips met with nothing but love.

We got undressed.

Naked except for our love, he looked at me and said…

“You’re a GUY?!”

[Cherry]

This is a good version that takes out the unnecessary words, making the poem leaner as they say.