RESTRAINT

Some moments when the emotions become volcanic just like this!

Ever since I was a child, I was being told that I have to control my emotion

I kept on controlling it for years and years till the time it suddenly became an explosion

 

My tiny heart had been holding it for so many years

Till the time it burst out in public with embarrassing tears   

 

All those years the only thing I crave for was a little bit of love and respect

People came forward to see more likely if I survived rather than to be checked

 

It can be frustrating when you feel like you’re always the one helping others

And, I find myself surrounded by people who do not value my well-being, including my own brothers

 

Even when people told me bluntly that I should lose weight

I was raised such that all I could answer was “Thank you, you’re great”

 

Ya, people do rush in and give me so many unsolicited advice on career and raising kids

Every day, every single minute, I find myself as a giant wound covered in bandages and grids

 

I’m quite aware that desires make you weak and wanting make you dependent and vulnerable

But critical evaluations from every passerby about what you should have done to suppress those makes the emotions insufferable

 

Well then, what am I supposed to say? Or should I ignore everything and practice to be a saint?

Or should I practice more skills in the arts of self-restraint?