Echoes of You

~Echoes of You~

Your ghost hides in the corners of our wrinkled sheets,

reaching out transparent hands to grasp at my foolishness.

I've never enjoyed swimming naked in guilt's sea;
it leaves me dripping remorse.
It appears death's formidable grip can trump a full hand
of indifference every time.

The mundane, repetitious days of our existence
held me in perspective as one
too ambivalent to shake his disembodied shoulders.

The scent of your demise, to me, seemed innocuous
fleeting and unable to bloom.

But flowers, I've discovered, are fragile things
that, in a short period of time,
will die from the slightest chill.

And I" unbelievably"
immersed in my neglectful, narrow corner
unable to sympathize or relate to simple needs
never noticed at all
your petals
falling one by one.

How often have men picked their flower in life only to ignore her later through the trials of marriage? Her tears like petals have fallen. Now, through her absence, he realizes too late, what he has done: Disregarded and Ignored his soul mate.

Your thoughts are always welcome.

Author's Note

Note to self: Changed the picture and a couple of words.


A quick note:

~~This is by far my most popular poem. And yet, it didn't start that way. Many young people are offended by advice or suggestions from others. They feel insulted that someone would critique their writing.

As for me, I came here not just to share my writing but to learn as well. If it wasn't for suggestions from Rick Puetter and Girl Friday (see below) I don't think the poem would have been as good. The poet Richard also helped me fine tune the poem and it is now--after all these years--(in my mind) complete.

We can always learn from other people as long as we know they have more experience and know-how than us.~~

Reviews

[@_av_poetry]

A very gripping poem. I loved this:

"But, flowers--I've discovered--are fragile things
that in a short period of time
will die from the slightest chill."

It is indeed simple needs that people are completely blind to sometimes, but the neglect of them can, with time, destroy a person and lead them away, somewhere where they can look for someone who can see clearly.

[Relic]

Thanks very much for your review.

[Sarah K Cass]

How sad. Well, that's how this struck me.

[Relic]

That's fine. Poetry encompasses many feelings. Thank you for reading.

[The Black Penman]

I found this to be full of thought and depth not to mention life.
I enjoyed the read.

[Relic]

Thank you very much, Black Penman.

[Cherrie]

I came back for a second read and it's beauty has not wilted one little bit.
As far as our new generation of lovers go, they seem to use the catch and release method. There is no interest in cultivating.

[Relic]

Thanks for reading, Cherrie.

[Richard M]

I'm not great on reviewing, but really like this Relic. So deep, honest and true. Thank you for finally finishing it and sharing it with us a WritersCafe. Take care my friend, stay safe and all the best to you.

[Relic]

Thank you, Richard.

[Paul Bell]

You just summed up life.
After the honeymoon is over, real life begins.
Sometimes we get so wrapped up we actually forget why we got together.

[Relic]

So true, Paul. Thank you.

[Cherrie]

It created a parallel universe immediately. Whither the damsel was deceased/ or merely dead to him. It rang out with regret, without the possibility of redemption.
A great piece of literature

[Relic]

Thank you, Cherrie. :)

[Lorry]

Ambivalence struck a deep chord within me, making me look at my own ambivalence that came about for the sake of some peace and wuiet, from nothing she done, but for life and all its other niggles.
Sometimes we forget that which is most important, as we get caught up in our own choking thoughts, that seem trivial now, that I finally got that quiet.
Your words here slow the reader to a pace where we can contemplate our own errors, while waiting for the next line to fall. very well written.

[Relic]

Thanks for reading, Lorry.

[Iam-me]

Wonderful poem. That teaches us lessons. And never to take for granted a loved one. Powerful, emotional and so heartfelt.

[Relic]

Thank you for your thoughts, Dee.

[Iam-me]

Thank you for sharing. Relic.

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

I love the growth throughout this piece. I read it several times to soak in all the experience of it. Thank you so much for sharing

[Relic]

Thank you for reading, Queenie.