WRITERS AND POETS

Reviews

[Richard🖌]

Ha-hah!
From the sharp admonishment, it makes one take a second thought about writing anything, lest they not escape unscathed the critic's craze.

I really enjoy the rather smooth flow, even though your quatrains are in uneven count, and only L2, V3 skipped significantly in rhythm for me, but you might consider an easy fix by adding an "a" thusly:

"Learn from others and work to the bone,
Refuse any rest or 'a' nap.
Then, when you're through, I'll comment to you,
If not, it's probably crap."

I very much enjoyed this skillfully rendered "in your face" piece, Dear Poet … thank you sincerely! ⁓ Richard

[Relic]

I agree with you Rascal. This was written many years ago and it was done through feel only. I have recently made the decision to put aside posting until I learn more about poetry in general.

May I ask, when you say it slipped significantly, do you mean in feel just by reading or do you count accents and syllables?

[Relic]

*sorry, I meant skipped.

[Richard🖌]

I meant in beat, rhythm, flow … try reciting it and you'll instantly catch any skip, trip, stumble, awkwardness, etc; in any line of poetry (as if I'm teaching you anything … LOL!).
I've taught literally hundreds poetry for over 40-years, if you interested in inquiring about anything poetical, and not meaning to sound arrogant, only to offer answers to whatever you might want to ask, and it's free. : )

[Relic]

I appreciate that very much. I think my problem is that I've been playing drums for as long as you've been teaching and I may not be relating rhythm in poetry the same way as in music. I never recite. I hear it in my head and it winds up sounding the same way.

I'm sure I'll have questions for you in the future.

[Richard🖌]

Try reciting … it reveals everything rhythmic, for the voice, tied to the brain, cannot create it own, whereas an inner beat is endlessly flexible.
Remember, it is the mind's-eye (the visual influences) speaking to the brain when reading poetry off the page.

[Relic]

I will definitely try it. Are you technical when it comes to poetry being you've taught it? Do you count metric feet and so on when writing rhyme, or just relate rhyme poetry in the way you've just stated?

[Richard🖌]

There is no genré or style I have not or will not compose in.
To me (and this is my contention), to be a complete poet one must have mastered poetry, and that includes metered and unmetered efforts, and every known form reasonable to, though many forms require a strict adherence to count, a certain rhythm, etc; including highly complicated challenges, such as the iambic pentameter of the three main forms of Sonnet, and in the Blank Verse.
Many do not realize that Free Verse and Free Style poetry, also, have rules.

[Relic]

Thanks o much for the info. If I have any other questions I'll ask. I've tried reciting the line you've mentioned but I don't see much of a difference yet. I may have to train myself to listen differently.

[Richard🖌]

Could be you're just so different … LOL!

[Relic]

That's always possible. haha

[Relic]

Just out of curiosity, would this sound right rhythmically?

Writers and poets can pick up their pens
explore any phrase in their minds
sharing the stories that I've never read
all told through the words that they find.

[Richard🖌]

Excellent rhythm and flow, and you might note that the rhythm is based on the even 10/8/10/8 counts and the abcb rhyme scheme (note edits in punctuation and wording to bring spot-on rhymes into correct compliance, to gift a more poetic voice, offering an alternate example to remove the personal "me/I" inference, and as an invite; thus, allowing each reader to more easily make it their own):

Come writers and poets, pick up your pens, (a)
explore any phrase in your minds, (b)
sharing the stories that we've never read, (c)
all told through such words from your finds. (b)


(merely an example of poetic tutoring)

[Richard🖌]

Then, to properly answer your question: "Yes."

[Relic]

Great, I counted in meter which I didn't do in the original version. Your revision makes sense too. I've got a long way to go but you've been very helpful. If I have any other questions I'll ask. :)

[Richard🖌]

I'll be hanging around somewhere.

[Rita L. Sev]

A strong endorsement to write on... and, crap or not, for some of us there is no other choice... This one is much appreciated for its wit and its wisdom.

[Relic]

Thank you Rita.

[jeannemarie coulter]

the humor helps us all...this is well oenned and does make the mind wonder...

[Relic]

Thank you.

[Cryingkate]

LOL ,
Time changes perspectives.. I remember when I made that comment over a year ago when I saw you as a stuck up -bully.
I don't anymore :-)
Nice write relic and well presented.
Funny isn't it? We will be called many things by many people in our lifetime.:-)

[Relic]

Yes we are, sex offender was not one I anticipated hahahaha. Thanks Kate.

[Cryingkate]

LOL ................

[RomaJ]

Haha Very clever. The whole
Piece is just, brilliant, I totally loved the ending!
"It's probably crap" lol you....:)!!

[Relic]

I thought people would enjoy that. :) Thank you Roma.

[....................]

Enjoyed it fully, especially your first and last lines!

FT

[Relic]

Thanks very much FT.

[ANTO]

Lmao - brilliant Relic !! xD

[Relic]

:-) Thanks ANTO.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

"if not, it's probably crap"

great ending...
this was a smile.

jacob

[Relic]

Glad you liked it Jacob. :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

checked out katie and commented, nice poetry.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

by the way...i like that quote from one of my all time favorite Beat poets.
Larry Ferlinghetti...mmmm wonder if anyone ever calls him Larry...:)
"and i am constantly awaiting for the rebirth of wonder"

[Relic]

That's kinda how I feel sometimes in myself. It seems like life has been one long with no pulse. I like that quote. Never heard of him before in the same company as Ginsburg, kerouac or others. I'll look him up.

[Relic]

Correction, his name is right above....duh...hahaha I'll be okay. :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i like him much better than Ginsberg or kerouac....i do also like robert Creeley and david ignatow of the beats...you might check them out also if you have a mind to.

Ferlinghetti's poem, "i am waiting" is my favorite of his.

[Relic]

I definitely will...

[Jamestown]

Hilarious, I really enjoyed this piece! Thanks for sharing and b-blessed!

[Relic]

ha, thanks.

[blue angel]

haha! Love this. Lawrence Ferlinghetti's words are so very fitting. I'm fully committed! Respectfully, blue angel

"Poetry is an echo, asking a shadow to dance" - Carl Sandburg

[Relic]

Beautiful quote. Thanks Blue.

[blue angel]

My pleasure. :)