A bird overheard

Reviews

[CaptainBill]

As is usual with good poetry, you see deeper when you look again. "Glide - stride " works. 'my metered stride' was a distracting image at first. Now I see a good image, with a double reference, to walking in the glen and your metered writing of this poem.

I have trouble at the idea level with the second stanza. First line and 'serenade' is a nice image. Shifting to "hymns" is where I have trouble. If this is where you were going, you gave no hint in the first bird melodies, or any bird song, actually. 'No man conveys' seems to be there just for the rhyme, and that stands out. You have to think about the meaning of 'conveys' for a long time, before you can get a meaning that makes sense. At least I did. So your chosen words distract from the image you are building. The same with 'praise'. I see a possible meaning, but I have to work at it. The actual rhyme is just fine. It is the work you have to do to get the meaning. Some artists might want exactly that.

Others have said, so I didn't before. I do like your poem.

[Relic]

Thanks for clarifying that. I will think about what you've said. In the future I'll think about a possible revision a well. You've been very helpful, I appreciate it.

[John the Baptist]

Eckhart Tolle in his book "Stillness Speaks" says we need nature and nature needs us. The robin's cry raises your spirits and your attention validates his existence. All is interconnected, whether it is perceived or not.

[Relic]

Well said, John. I believe that. Thank you. :)

[NotUsinganymore]

Very nice words you used, I enjoyed it.

[Relic]

Thank you, JungLee.

[NotUsinganymore]

You are welcome. I posted a new poem! Please check it out c:

[Susan 🦋]

I think beneath the shadow of pain...yes, even nature seems to be against us. Maybe pain needs company or at least someone to say, I understand, you are not alone. That little bird could have been chirping happily away...but pain can be blinding and all we feel is sadness. Perhaps the restoring of the heart comes when we realize that little bird robin still has the will to chirp no matter what :-)

[Relic]

Nicely said, Susan. Thanks for the comment.

[Aldo kraas]

I enjoy reading you
Poem
A bird overheard

[Relic]

Thank you, Aldo. :)

[Lorry]

Your words, as well as your note rings so true, for me at least relic, and bring calm from the chaos we are surrounded by everyday. The calming silence speaks to me in feelings, unjudged yet accepted, very similar to writing itself.
At least when I don't find the answers, I accept it, for now, and know I shall try again.
Love how this flows and is heard by me in a wistful sigh.

[Relic]

Thank you for your comment, Lorry.

[mattavelli]

Hello, Relic! :)
This is beautiful poetry. The rhythm and phrasing made it a real pleasure to read. Thanks for sharing.

[Relic]

Thanks very much for reading, M. :)

[Vertigo Cat1111]

The creativity in this one is wonderful! The rhymes, the pacing, each word you used, everything is perfect and in its place. An absolutely gorgeous poem, that I think is one of my favorites I've read here! There's something about it that feels so personal, it feels as if it explores many emotions in such a smooth way. Thank you for sharing!

[Relic]

Thanks very much for your thoughts, Colacat. :)

[Richard🖌]

Hi, Tim,

I'll readily, proudly, even joyfully admit I've read and enjoyed some pretty damned good poetry pieces from your skillful pen, and in every one of them, there is something unique in creation and imagery that makes it distinctly yours.
This one is no different in that sense, but what is different (for me) is the excellence in syntactic voice, ease of flow, and variety of spot-on rhyme … not to mention an ambience that reeks of emotive depth and wonderment that vacillates and reverberates in the heart and soul, in almost tender imagery, between beauty, sadness, and downright sheer unity with Nature's inner spirit … one I would dub, mistily, wistfully, touchingly ethereal. And, that picture(?) … salute!

Techy driftings: Ahhh! One of my favorite forms; Quatrains in perfect Ballad meter (iambic tetrameter/trimeter). What could be alluring to any true, accomplished, and knowing poetry lover's ear, mind, and heart.
Yet, the ironic truth is that most readers are going to envy and enjoy any well rendered, seamlessly flowing poem written in Ballad meter, with a reasonably captivating storyline. Yet, they'll be unable to realize why (that is, what exactly it is that makes it technically such remarkably appealing poetry/precisely … the poetic structure which allows it to be.

My fine friend and gifted artist, I find very little about this one not to envy, enjoy, and admire!
Thank you for the honor and privilege of doing so. ⁓ Richard 🍃

[Relic]

I don't understand how I would have missed such a complimentary review from you Richard. I appreciate your words greatly. I can only imagine my lack of response was in those days when reviews and replies were either disappearing or not showing up at all. Thanks for bringing this to my attention. I'm grateful. :)

[Richard🖌]

From you gratitude, Tim, I am grateful, too, as I always am for the joy of sharing your excellent penmanship. ✍

[Patricia Wedel]

dear Tim... an amazing poem that is
Lovely. My dearest Aunt felt that birds are Spirits of our loved ones. My son Robert’s Mother-in-law Believes that Cardinals are messengers from our loved ones that are
a “Blessing” bestowed on our home and life.
I am certain that Birds are Angels with wings whom sing for all that need a Song. truly, Pat

[Relic]

Thanks very much, Pat.

[Levi Levin]

I think you did a great job! Superb creativity with nature.

[Relic]

Thanks very much, Levi.

[Levi Levin]

Your welcome.