A bird overheard

Reviews

[CaptainBill]

As is usual with good poetry, you see deeper when you look again. "Glide - stride " works. 'my metered stride' was a distracting image at first. Now I see a good image, with a double reference, to walking in the glen and your metered writing of this poem.

I have trouble at the idea level with the second stanza. First line and 'serenade' is a nice image. Shifting to "hymns" is where I have trouble. If this is where you were going, you gave no hint in the first bird melodies, or any bird song, actually. 'No man conveys' seems to be there just for the rhyme, and that stands out. You have to think about the meaning of 'conveys' for a long time, before you can get a meaning that makes sense. At least I did. So your chosen words distract from the image you are building. The same with 'praise'. I see a possible meaning, but I have to work at it. The actual rhyme is just fine. It is the work you have to do to get the meaning. Some artists might want exactly that.

Others have said, so I didn't before. I do like your poem.

[Relic]

Thanks for clarifying that. I will think about what you've said. In the future I'll think about a possible revision a well. You've been very helpful, I appreciate it.

[Patricia Wedel]

dear Relic... I find that feeding the Birds outside my large kitchen window where there is an old wooden deck with a large flat railing that I cover with seeds for all Birds. They dance and chirp while I feel that I am their Keeper for just a Season or more until their return. truly, Pat

[Relic]

Thanks for sharing that, Pat. And thanks for the review.

[Patricia Wedel]

My pleasure... Pat

[_mal]

Very pretty write. Being pulled out of your own head is never a bad thing

[Relic]

Thank you, Mal.

[MOON]

Birds always remind me of people who passed on. Love this lyrical write.

[Relic]

It would make sense being there's so many people gone. Thanks, Moon.

[Carola]

lovely lyrical poem, beautiful images spring to mind from your words, & you get the metre just right, something i don't always manage with rhyming poetry. well done.
cheerio carola

[Relic]

I appreciate your review, Carola. Thank you.

[barleygirl]

This is imaginative & original, the way you interpret birdsong. I strongly feel the melancholy tone of longing & questioning, which makes your poem stand out among the many bird poems. I love how it feels like the human is reading HIS stuff into the bird's call, as if birdsong echoes his blues (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Relic]

Thanks very much for your accurate review. :)

[DIVYA]

The universe is indeed so healing and mystical. I read somewhere that woods are inhabited by spirits and perhaps the robin could sense them. I could picture it all very well here, through your words. The picture is beautiful and does great justice to the subject. Appreciated very much.

[Relic]

Thanks very much, Divya.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

This is truly beautiful! It reads like a dream from beginning to end. I think when we feel as one with nature, we feel as one within ourselves. Nature is our zen. Well penned!

[Relic]

Well said, Linda. Thank you.

[R.E. Ray]

I think nature, especially when we immerse ourselves in it’s simple beauty and serenity, disrupts our own doubtful thinking and negativity. Maybe it’s the brilliant colors or sounds, as you’ve presented here. Good poetry makes us think and reflect, and that’s certainly true here.

[Relic]

Thanks for your thoughts, R.E.

[R.E. Ray]

You’re welcome!

[Sami Khalil]

"a robin's voice affects me so
for what I hear implied.

He echoes language through the woods"

[MissEnigmas]

Perhaps the bird is singing in compassion...do you wonder if they understand emptiness? There is much solace in nature if one is willing to venture into its depths. Thank you for sharing.

[Relic]

Thanks for the review.