A bird overheard

Reviews

[CaptainBill]

As is usual with good poetry, you see deeper when you look again. "Glide - stride " works. 'my metered stride' was a distracting image at first. Now I see a good image, with a double reference, to walking in the glen and your metered writing of this poem.

I have trouble at the idea level with the second stanza. First line and 'serenade' is a nice image. Shifting to "hymns" is where I have trouble. If this is where you were going, you gave no hint in the first bird melodies, or any bird song, actually. 'No man conveys' seems to be there just for the rhyme, and that stands out. You have to think about the meaning of 'conveys' for a long time, before you can get a meaning that makes sense. At least I did. So your chosen words distract from the image you are building. The same with 'praise'. I see a possible meaning, but I have to work at it. The actual rhyme is just fine. It is the work you have to do to get the meaning. Some artists might want exactly that.

Others have said, so I didn't before. I do like your poem.

[Relic]

Thanks for clarifying that. I will think about what you've said. In the future I'll think about a possible revision a well. You've been very helpful, I appreciate it.

[Fluffyy]

Very descriptive! Love the words you used. Keep it up!

[Relic]

Thank you, Fluffyy.

[Kelly Scheppers]

"Orations from the glen"

I thank you for awakening me to a new word. How impeccable your rhyme is, in contrast to the image provided. Beautiful verses, Tim...lasting impressions.

[Relic]

Thanks very much, Kelly.

[john l smith]

I am a little late in coming across this wonderful piece
it feels as if both could have lost a mate and the lone robin is there to share.
reminds me of a robin that nested in our trellised rose bush, who lost a mate to a hawk in front of our eyes, yet stayed to carry on alone with her chicks
very nicely written

[Relic]

Thanks very much, John.

[Amy R]

Greatly inked, flowed so good,
that picture reminded me of some paintings I've done years ago,
magical yet so real.

[Relic]

Ah, you're an artist too? Nice.

Thanks again. :)

[Amy R]

slightly my natural talent.
You're welcome.

[Relic]

Isn't there another site that allows you to show your paintings along with poetry and stories? I was on one.

[Amy R]

I was on one too, but years ago..

[Neville]

What a gem this is and true...smashing picture too..... Neville

[Relic]

Thank you very much, Neville.

[Neville]

again, my pleasure entirely.... N

[lightsong]

that's haunting... I believe You heard him so well, You heard his inner's song so well, to be connected like that with him, sometimes my friend the smallest of things speak to us, speak with us, if our hearts was ready and opened enough to hear, giving us a sign, here and there... like in Your last verse, You lit hope, and You know that there is always hope, and when it's here... You will think of this walk again, tenderly heartfelt.

[Relic]

Thanks for reading, Light.

[Cherrie]

It rained all night and most of the day, as I listen to the birds sing as I read of your woodland trek I find your gentle flow perfect and your descriptions beautiful

[Relic]

Thanks very much, Cherie. :)

[Chris Shaw]

This poem is both beautiful and melancholic, and the image of the bluebells carpeting the woodland floor is heavenly. I'd like to linger there. I love your style of writing, but also the sentiment you expressed. As for robins, I have one that visits my garden, a bold little fella he is. Delightful bird. Thank you for a lovely read.

[Relic]

I'm glad you liked it, Christine. Thanks.

[Chris Shaw]

You are welcome

[Chris Shaw]

Came back for another read Tim. Lovely poem. Expertly penned.

Chris

[Relic]

Thank you, Chris. :)

[Stella Armour]

this reads beautifully, it flows and i enjoyed the imagery of you listening to then robin sing and wondering what he was thinking, maybe a departed soul... maybe not, that is for the reader to interpret.

A gorgeous picture of a bluebell wood where the robin might well trill his song

[Relic]

Thanks so much, Stella.

[Stella Armour]

Also, i love robins, the one in my garden is always first back to the feeder when i have filled it... he is soooo cheeky and almost does a dance on the fence when he can't get in because of the sparrows :)

[Layla]

So soft and melancholic.
Smooth rhyme and rhythm.
This poem was somewhat dreamlike.
Well done.

[Relic]

Thanks very much Layla. :)