A bird overheard

Reviews

[CaptainBill]

As is usual with good poetry, you see deeper when you look again. "Glide - stride " works. 'my metered stride' was a distracting image at first. Now I see a good image, with a double reference, to walking in the glen and your metered writing of this poem.

I have trouble at the idea level with the second stanza. First line and 'serenade' is a nice image. Shifting to "hymns" is where I have trouble. If this is where you were going, you gave no hint in the first bird melodies, or any bird song, actually. 'No man conveys' seems to be there just for the rhyme, and that stands out. You have to think about the meaning of 'conveys' for a long time, before you can get a meaning that makes sense. At least I did. So your chosen words distract from the image you are building. The same with 'praise'. I see a possible meaning, but I have to work at it. The actual rhyme is just fine. It is the work you have to do to get the meaning. Some artists might want exactly that.

Others have said, so I didn't before. I do like your poem.

[Relic]

Thanks for clarifying that. I will think about what you've said. In the future I'll think about a possible revision a well. You've been very helpful, I appreciate it.

[Papaya]

A beautiful tender and sorrowful tune.
It's rare to see rhyming poetry nowadays.
I really enjoyed this.

[Relic]

Thanks so much Papaya. :)

[Papaya]

You're welcome. :)

[RomaJ]

The imagery in this piece is exquisite. I find beauty in simplicity here.

Which sometimes, can be difficult. Well at least for me, I have a tendency to over complicate things...:) But this is just lovely and you write it with such ease. The rhyme and rhythm is beautiful and soft. I can see how you placed each word, in every line with such care. Your careful attention to form and meter of a poem.
Is both admirable and inspiring. I need to try and write like this. Just lovely.

To know the song a robin sings, is the secret, to one of Nature's most beautiful mysteries. And I see, you have unraveled it so eloquently in this piece.

[Relic]

Thank you for your elegant review Roma. Now if only I could do reviews like you. :)

[William Liston]

This poem is so calming with a slight melancholic feel. Your rhymes were meticulously crafted, and the flow was wonderful. I like how you paid attention to meter in this piece ... don't see that often. This reminded me of the song "I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry" by Hank Williams. In it, he says "Did you ever see a robin weep when leaves began to die." I'm in love with the feel of this piece.

If I may critique, I must say that I'd advise you not to capitalize every line unless it starts a new sentence (that's just my preference). Also, in S4L1, I'd put an apostrophe before "Til."

Other than that, I think you've created a masterpiece capable of satisfying any poetry lover. By the way, you have a great visual presentation too ... great font and picture ... enthralling choices.

- William Liston

[Lily Fields]

Beautiful! Both the picture and the poem. I enjoy poems that include nature

[Relic]

I'm glad you enjoyed it, thanks.

[Nisreen]

An elegant write
filled with mercy
and a carefree tune

i enjoyed it

[Relic]

Thank you RiverSided.

[Ed Hart]

it's easy to see why you got such praise for this one...a real beauty, an echo from the romantic era, born again...it rides easy on the page

[Relic]

My thanks Ed.

[wordman]

a beautiful write relic,and the image was fantastic

[Relic]

Thanks very much Wordman. :)

[wordman]

my pleasure relic

[Emberlorna]

Such a beautifully penned piece, Reminds me very much of the old style which I've always found so lovely. This reads like a breath of fresh air compared to many modern pieces I've read, taking us back to more simple and meaningful moments of man reflecting upon nature and the many wonders of its beauty. You've truly captured this so vividly.. Enchanting.

[Relic]

Thanks so much Stephenie.

[Corset]

first, I love the picture you chose for this beautiful poem, secondly I love you used the Robin for your breath of song, lovely poem I think It's my new favorite of yours :)

[Relic]

Well thank you very much for saying that. :)

[Corset]

yeah well, I'm snagging the pic for my wallpaper FYI

[Relic]

haha, go right ahead. I wish you good luck with it.

[Corset]

always best , much appreciated.

[Anindita Janhabee]

A very soothing poem... I liked the rhyming words used here. I had just read 'about' you and I am glad to know about your interest in writing poetry. So sir, as 'writing does not require any age limit', I request you to keep on writing and sharing them.
Also a lot of thanks for the review....

[Relic]

Thank you very much Anindita.