A bird overheard

Reviews

[CaptainBill]

As is usual with good poetry, you see deeper when you look again. "Glide - stride " works. 'my metered stride' was a distracting image at first. Now I see a good image, with a double reference, to walking in the glen and your metered writing of this poem.

I have trouble at the idea level with the second stanza. First line and 'serenade' is a nice image. Shifting to "hymns" is where I have trouble. If this is where you were going, you gave no hint in the first bird melodies, or any bird song, actually. 'No man conveys' seems to be there just for the rhyme, and that stands out. You have to think about the meaning of 'conveys' for a long time, before you can get a meaning that makes sense. At least I did. So your chosen words distract from the image you are building. The same with 'praise'. I see a possible meaning, but I have to work at it. The actual rhyme is just fine. It is the work you have to do to get the meaning. Some artists might want exactly that.

Others have said, so I didn't before. I do like your poem.

[Relic]

Thanks for clarifying that. I will think about what you've said. In the future I'll think about a possible revision a well. You've been very helpful, I appreciate it.

[Coyote Poetry]

A beautiful and positive poem for nature. I like to roam into the forest. The song of the birds and the peace of the forest. No better place to be. I like the story and the hope for a second chance to hear the ballet of Spring. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Relic]

Thanks very much for your thoughts Coyote.

[Coyote Poetry]

Was my pleasure and you are welcome.

[Robert]

First the photo, wow how beautiful. Secondly I really enjoyed reading this it had such a fine tuned tone to it while reading. I also felt a connection to it because it reminds me in a way of a poem i wrote, "Myself with Song". I sit in my backyard all the time listening to birds singing and talking to each other. Well done. I'm glad I read this piece.

[Relic]

Thanks Robert. Due to overbuilding in my neighborhood I don't get the opportunity to sit in my backyard and hear the birds like I used to. You're very lucky. Thanks for the review.

[zaisham9393]

I love the flow and the perfect rhyming :)).the pic is just awesome....

this work of yours is a masterpiece my friend :)).

[Relic]

Thank you very much Z.

[zaisham9393]

you're welcome.

[Pryde Foltz]

Superb nature write … haunting and beautiful.

[Relic]

Thanks Pryde.

[Kay]

LOVE! Your poem flows fairly well and produces strong images.

[Relic]

Thank you R.M. Your review flows fairly well and has a nice image attached to it. :D

[Kay]

Oh, haha, thanks! :p

[Rita L. Sev]

I really enjoyed this scene, Tim - there is a hopeful melancholy here, beautifully rendered. Reading it aloud, I was better able to get the rhythm. You know I appreciate well-crafted rhyme, and this piece is just that.

[Relic]

Thanks so much Rita. :)

[Beccy]

The photograph reminds me of Nobottle Woods, with it's beautiful carpet of bluebells. It was somewhere my nan used to take my sister and I when we were children. It's a protected area now, but then, three decades plus ago, we could roam wherever we chose, though were always careful where we trod.

A delightful and gorgeously rhythmic upbeat poem, that I really enjoyed. Beccy.

[Relic]

Thank you very Beccy. I'm glad you like it. (and the picture) :)

[Anne Armitage]

A beautiful poem and one of my favourite bird songs. :)

[Relic]

Thank you very much Anne.

[Bright Ocean Star]

Relic, I loved this one. You masterfully manipulated the rhyme scheme so it was not overly done, yet gentle and in keeping with the tone of the scene. I love all things woodsy, and you complimented this beautiful writing with a photograph that takes my breath away. Where do these lavender flowers grow? So beautiful.

[Relic]

I wish I knew where they grew. I'd put some in my backyard. ha Thanks very much.

[Terpsichore]

A rhyming poem indeed! So glad I found this, it has a wonderfully classic feel to it. Rather different to the stuff I write, but I have to say I was bowled over by the delightful imagery and classic use of our language.

Much enjoyed. T

[Relic]

Thanks very much T.