The Ten Commandments of Writers Cafe.

Hope you enjoy them.

The Ten Commandments of WRITERS CAFE.

A Story by Relic

Okay reader, I know what you're thinking...

"He reached the number one spot on the popular page twice so he's trying to do it again. Watch, this is gonna suck. What an idiot. Wasn't he good one time?  

Well...for those of you who think I'm pompous, I can assure you I have no intentions of demanding any protocols for this site. In fact, if you really want to know, I've written each one of the following commandments with a grin on my face. :)

For the record, this is not a manifesto or declaration. Therefore, the discoverers of this site are not going to sign any documents with a quill-feathered pen while they stand around in those funny shoes that have a belt-buckle thing on the front of them. Nor are we going to fight the British over it. In fact, the Lord himself, in all probability, won't be lifting a finger to include them on any stone tablets he may create in the future.

Consider each one just a friendly and humorous suggestion I'm offering. 

If you care to read my other stories called Writers Cafe rules 1-10 or More Writers Cafe Rules 11-20, you'll find a few similar topics. Rest easy reader and see if you agree with any. 

               The 10 Commandments of Writers Cafe

NUMBER 1:  FRIEND REQUEST

I am a writer you have chosen to visit. You shall not ask for a friend's request without reviewing me first. (I speak for many here) The words "Good poem/Good story" will not suffice as a review. In addition, if you just write books and you didn't review anything of mine at all...well...what do you think I'm going to assume. Yup, something's up right? Move on my non-friend, I've been sprayed with a sufficient dose of  'I'm not stupid' repellant.

NUMBER 2: READ REQUEST OPTION

You shall not worry about closing your read request option for a given time.  You can't expect to read everything anyway. You have people to talk to, places to go and things to see...the hell with them if they can't take a joke.

NUMBER 3: HONEST OPINIONS

Remember to give an honest opinion in your reviews, provided you do them in a professional and friendly manner. If the writer does not approve/agree, his pen is his sword. Though judging by his/her work, that sword might be broke or rusty. Nevertheless, I digress. 

NUMBER 4: REVISIONS

Honor your revisions. You shall not post your work with typos throughout. For the reader it's like getting their shirt caught on a fence while strolling through the park. You don't want that do you? 

NUMBER 5: READ REQUESTS

You shall not send more than 2-3 read requests to a writer at a time, provided they are accepting them. If you never hear from them--pick a clue and move on, pal!

NUMBER 6: STALKING WOMAN

You shall not stalk or degrade woman/girls on Writers Cafe. Do it out on the street where it belongs. 

NUMBER 7: SELF-HELP

You shall not log out and go to your page over and over again in order to increase the amount of reads. (I see you over there. Stop that!) If you're desperate for reviews, you might as well do number 8. (See #8)

NUMBER 8: MULTIPLE ACCOUNTS

You shall not review your own work by way of your other multiple accounts. You could; you could even get into a conversation with all of you if you wanted to on a thread, but then you'd have to remember who you were and which one of you was talking to whom. You might even have to plan your next move. ("Should I wear my red shirt as Cedar Bark Sniffer or the blue one?")

NUMBER 9: YOU'VE BEEN BLOCKED

You shall not fret over being blocked by another writer. Accept it and move on. (Okay, that's a bunch of crap. Write a poem about seagull s**t that landed on the windshield of your car a while back but now it's gone. The metaphor will stand out like a sore thumb to your friends who know about the blocker. As for the other readers who aren't in on it, they'll just think you're talking about life in general and all its trials.) 

NUMBER 10: SELF-DEGRADATION

You shall not degrade yourself in your work or on your Bio. Let others do that. Seriously, though, you have worth here and the opportunity to learn...Sometimes.

Enjoy your time here and don't forget to tithe your thoughts.

 

 

Author's Note

Please remember this was done with a dose of humor. Thanks.

Reviews

[asdarkeyesclose]

haha! this got me giggling, i guess there are rules that need to be followed, boxes that need to be ticked. i'm just cross about all the changes and losing the little review icon at the top, i suppose some people take change better than others. i'm not one of them! fantastic.

[Relic]

haha Glad you saw the humor in it Ghost, thank you.

[TLK]

Eleventy-one: You should write about Writer's Cafe itself because the complex interplay of teenage interplay is what most writers on the website want to talk about.

OOH YEAH I WENT THERE.

[Relic]

I've written about WC many times, I'm not so sure most writers here want to talk about teenage interplay though?

[CaptainBill]

Relic, you are a piece of work, as they say. Don't what it means exactly, but it sounds good.

I really like your images at the end. "feel - kneel" , "got - naught". Expressive rhymes that help and aren't forced. Everything fits overall image of commandments. Well done!

[Relic]

Thank you Captain. I guess? The end rhymes you are referring to are lyrics from the song My way from the singer Frank Sinatra. I did this with a dose of humor which went over the heads of some who read it. (See Emilie below).

[EmilieFournier6726]

I think that maybe sentence structure and general grammar should be mentioned because there are a few places where it is lacking. You cannot really ask people not to post their work with typos when you fail to see errors of your own that could have been fixed had you understood a few rules of grammar, at least typos are accidental. For example, in the first commandment, it should "do not suffice" since words, the subject is plural. Other than that helpful tips but they really should be obvious and can also be applied to real life, not just writing.

[Relic]

I apologize for making you so upset Emilie. Thank you for pointing out my errors.

[EmilieFournier6726]

You did not make me upset and I did find it humorous. I was just pointing out some mistakes. Didn't mean to be so rude. It was my first review and I'm not so good at polite criticism yet.

[Muse]

pay no attention this person closed up account "go look" and her example of bad grammar was pathetic and farce.

[Relic]

:)

[Coyote Poetry]

I try to read all read request. I return the favor of the people who read my poetry and story. Life is give and take. Must be a friend to know friendship. I like when writer's send me personal request if needed. Have fun and be safe.
Coyote

[Relic]

Thanks for the review Coyote.

[MOON]

Ah rules to live by , essential for WC . After reviewing like a demon for months I gave up and turned it off. Suffice to say I am a happier person, though I fear I might have lost some friends. I thought I knew all the tricks as I have been here
for almost a year, but having multiple accounts and reviewing yourself that takes the prize! Rule number 6 take it out on the street don't you dare , you don't want women beating you up! Lovely write.

[Relic]

haha, I'm sure in this world today they just might. I've been reviewing a lot and I'm sure sooner or later I'll probably give it up. For now, I'm still plugging away but my reviews are a little shorter. Thanks for the review.

[MOON]

I turned off RR! Still review but poems that catch my eye or friends writing I enjoy!
Take care!

[Robbie~xoxo~]

Good for you Sweetums!...These are awesome ten commandments! LOL
So Hilarious!!.....and truth be told, very needed...
I LOVE THIS!!>>>>I will not yell at you...
You'll always be on the popular page in my book.(((Hugs)))
Who else would voice these issues in a jovial way, none other than the one who sees all!
You listen, guide, and make us smile... in your special way...
P.S. I'll take note on #9...blocking hurts... :D
Going in my faves!

[Relic]

I always try. :) Thank you Love.

[Robbie~xoxo~]

always be you... ~xo~:)

[headoverheart]

I've read many of your works and added you immediately to be my friend. Then I read commandment number 1 and.. blast. hits too close to home :) anyway, this made me smile because it;s true, practical and polite. :)

[Relic]

You're in good standing, no worries. Thank you very much.

[Rogue]

-followed the trail of breadcrumbs-

Clever, with the right touch of sarcasm and brim full of truth. :)

As for the RR's.. Your (general populace) whole collection at once? Really? -goes cross eyed- Quit it!

[Relic]

Thank you Rogue.
Whole collection at once?

[Rogue]

You are welcome.
Sorry if I came of vague. Yes, as stated by other reviewers here, some like to send read requests for everything they have all at one time.

[Relic]

Yes, that has been a really big problem here. Some writers get over-anxious and want all their poems, stories or books reviewed right now! If that happens to me again I'll warn them or delete them from my friends list. It may be mean but it has to be done sometimes.

[quinfinn]

and here endeth the lesson. this should be made the official rule list for w/c...half the s**t you say people do on here ...i wasn't even aware they were possible. there is so much truth and wisdom in this "manifesto" (haha! sorry, but i liked that inference) that i am putting it in my faves for future reference...my hope, my fervent desire is that this will take off like wildfire and we will all know the rules so well that we will be able to simply say something like "hey, rule #6, applies here" just like Gibbs on NCIS...relic, you have created gold here....bravo!