Beneath an ominous sky, rage. (rhyme poem)

Version 1

Its throat roared 

a riotous rumble

Passing above the ruined rubble.

The funnel hung

swiveled and swung

Licking its chops with a tawdry tongue.

Rolling, rumbling

ferocious and foul,

It started with wind - then a hungry howl.

Version 2

Its throat wailed a riotous roar

as roofs transformed to rubble.

The funnel hung~ 

swiveled, swung~

Licking its chops with a gorging tongue.

Rolling~rumbling~

ferocious, foul,

I still recall its ominous howl.

Author's Note

I tried to give rough weather some personification.

Note to self. The poem was re-worked 3/15/16. Added picture 11/9/16

Reviews

[Scott Thompson]

Nice work. Economy of words but all well chosen

[Relic]

Thank you.

[Ruth]

Wow...now that's description...poignant and visceral...lingers within me...epic!

[Relic]

Glad you liked it Poppy. I appreciate the reviews. Thanks.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

got to read this again...terrific personification...and imagery...one of the best poems on this site, especially the ending...

j.

[Relic]

Wow! Thanks Jacob.

[...]

I love this! You made the storm alive...gave it a mind of it's own. Intense...awesome

[Relic]

I'm grateful for the review, thanks Lynn. :-)

[andrew mitchell]

Love the flow love thr rhyme, so much imagery in so few lines Relic!

[Relic]

Glad you liked, thanks.

[David Scott]

Beastly do the winds howl...
You gave a story in a snap shot of poetic thought. This reads like a perfect photo explains more than thousands of words.
You do have a gift. Keep sharing it. Keep creating.

[Relic]

Thank you for saying that.

[Mara]

wow great description and imagery
Thank you for sharing

[Relic]

Thank you for reading Tee.

[Terry O'Leary]

Great personification... and imagery!!

[Relic]

Thank you Terry.

[Meeks]

I love the comparison of nature's force to an animal. It somehow gives in more life, go personification! But to an animal? I may or may not use the idea, if I find a place for it.

One think that mildly irks me is that, if not for the title, it would be a poem about something completely different. Small thing, but I think a phrase, or a hint of wind at the end would attach the title more firmly.

[Relic]

Thank you Meeks.

[An owl on the moon]

You give such a hungry life to the surging of this storm. It is living, devouring the world within its path. How this seems like the beginning passages of the storm's story, and all those lost in its wake.

[Relic]

Thank you so much Craig.