Beneath an ominous sky, rage. (rhyme poem)

Version 1

Its throat roared 

a riotous rumble

Passing above the ruined rubble.

The funnel hung

swiveled and swung

Licking its chops with a tawdry tongue.

Rolling, rumbling

ferocious and foul,

It started with wind - then a hungry howl.

Version 2

Its throat wailed a riotous roar

as roofs transformed to rubble.

The funnel hung~ 

swiveled, swung~

Licking its chops with a gorging tongue.

Rolling~rumbling~

ferocious, foul,

I still recall its ominous howl.

Author's Note

I tried to give rough weather some personification.

Note to self. The poem was re-worked 3/15/16. Added picture 11/9/16

Reviews

[Alisa Js]

Aloha,

I have lived through a hurricane and your piece describes it perfectly!!!

An experience never to be forgotten.

Alisa ;-)

[Relic]

Glad you liked it. The poem I mean, not the hurricane. haha Thanks.

[Kelly Scheppers]

Wow, I'm certain this could apply for them all. It must be a harrowing experience to live through something so devastating.

Mighty intense...and your closing line was priceless!

[Relic]

Thank you Kelly. :O

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Raw and ravening! Your words made storm come alive!
Intense imagery!
Enjoyed it very much.

[Relic]

Aww, thanks so much Jyoti

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

You are very welcome!

[Sheila Kline]

It was indeed a monster of a storm! Your descriptions are vivid and give cause to heed the power of an approaching storm. The appetite of one as this is not satisfied until full of destruction and chaos!
Excellent image of a hurricane!

[Relic]

Thank you Sheila.

[FaeryQueen]

"then moved on
belly full
licking its chops'
very nice imagery here

[Relic]

Thank you.

[Cherry Pepperweb]

Like a wild animal, a storm cannot be tamed, we just wait until it's rumble settles.
Same could be said for love I guess.
Also read the piece for Marie. :(
You're a class act.

[Relic]

Thanks so much Cherry. And yes, Marie will be missed.

[Pryde Foltz]

There are some that eat us up and spit us out … love this write, Relic.

I also read your write to Marie. She would be touched.

[Samuel Dickens]

Nature's power can be awesome and frightening, and the way you've shown it here, "licking it's chops" is imaginative and highly appropriate. I've never taken a direct hit from a tornado, downburst or hurricane, but I've seen what they can do. Just a plain ol' summer storm can rock you to your knees.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I like the life you give to the storm, as if it is a great lion that has conquered its prey, and then settled in for a long sleep...before putting together the next set of ominous clouds.

[Sophie D (not the porns..]

Love the compact style and distilled meaning.