Paper fish

A variation on another poem I wrote.

With metallic clouds,

darkness gathers.

From the tumbling sky,

my shoulders splatter.

Street puddles boil

and gutters clatter,

while bullfrogs assert:

What does it matter?

The vat in the sky is now released

to soggy sidewalks and mirrored streets.

And neon lights flaunt lucent streaks.

Had water been wine, could I serve a feast?

For today,

I compare myself to a corporate fish

whose shoes go squeak

and swoosh and swish

near buildings that sit

like sunken ships.

So I'll mop up my misery

and swim away

through chlorinated walkways

this wet Wednesday.

It's down to a drizzle,

though come what may,

I'm a sidewalk fish

in this city today.

Reviews

[CrashQueen♛]

Oh you beautiful man with your beautiful mind. Were I smarter than I am I'd give a better review but alas... I am more pretty than brainy. Still I enjoyed this, it is very lyrical and pleasant. Would make a nice tattoo.

[Relic]

haha, pretty than brainy? I doubt that. You are a great writer and one I enjoy. Thank you bro. lol

[emipoemi]

...................(wOw!).........................

I have no words........my voice is in my awe!!

(I wonder, though, why there's no coda line for Stanza 3....the musicality feels like it needs it. just a small little line like you do at the end of each other stanza- "what does it matter?" or "Can I serve a feast" or "in this city today" . Just wondering. I thoroughly enjoyed everything else about this. Well done!

[Relic]

Never thought to put one in. Thanks for the review.

[Carol Cashes]

This piece evoked images/smells/tactile...stuff. I can't think of the words when confronted with such an elegant array!

[Relic]

Thanks for your review Carol. :)

[Moonie]

I really enjoyed this well-written poem..I can see how delicate each line is, how perfectly you have framed everything..I can't find a single fault...
Excellent writing! :))

[Relic]

Thanks so much for reading and the nice review. :)

[Olympia Addy]

Very nice in enjoy reading nice poem

[Relic]

Thank you Olympia.

[Priscilla Sayers]

And the picture is beautiful
😍

[Priscilla Sayers]

How ironic that it is Tuesday and Raining where I am. I love this.
Today this rain is a symbol of tears but you have made it a magical scene and still inlaid the sorrow. I have missed reading your thoughts Sweet Buddy

[Relic]

You're very kind, thank you Priscilla. :)

[Kelly B.]

Love love love!
This was super fun to read.
Especially "Neon light tassels
lay lucent streaks
reflecting sweet rainbows
on mirrored streets.
the rain from its cage has been released.
were thunder a steak
Could I serve a feast?"
Can't wait to read more of your work.

[Relic]

Thanks very much Kelly. :)

[Gloomsjune]

This puts me in a place. This puts me in Pacific Beach somehow.

[Relic]

I'm glad, thank you.

[Atama Rakugaki]

Yep, good one Relic. Layout works a treat too. I liked Shannon's interpretation. I just felt like you do on a rainy day in the city, like a sidewalk fish. I'd overlooked the paperness.

[Relic]

Thank you. :)