Silent words, in some empty place.

She wanted to be a poet,

not knowing,
not understanding,
each metaphor muddled the page
with snarled similes
benign and befuddled.

The theme was vague,
the ambition wasted,
and time had expired.

Each word lay
in a grammatical grave,
invisible to a poem-lover's eyes.

They died in a hidden place,
uneasy and quiet,
like a botched poetic stillborn.

Reviews

[LKBillips]

Sometimes those mistakes breed hidden gems of genius. Good job on this one.

[Relic]

I appreciate the read. Thank you. :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

and yet even when we feel our words will be misunderstood, lack clarity of purpose----and seem missteps...others might benefit more than we know...
there is wisdom in your writes, my friend.

[Relic]

Thank you very much, Jacob.

[Lorry]

Excellent piece Relic. I know the feeling well, although to be fair, if something sits unread, it does tend to make me have a closer look at it and sometimes, you see something that isn't quite right. So sometimes no reviews can help you to see the problem.
Not that there is a need for this superb piece, which takes the words right out of our mouths, or thoughts :)

[Relic]

Thank you very much Nemonomore.

[Moonie]

Love the metaphor...it is so apt that it makes me wonder as to why i didn't come up with something similar...
Agreed....Writing a poem is just like giving birth- the nurturing, the care, the fretting...truly...and then there are the stillborn poems, or the ones who are aborted much before they actually breathe...again, very apt metaphor!! Loved it!

[Relic]

Thank you very much. :)

[L.C. Jarrette]

Mine was even worse...some group of writers from my country wont even accept my poems.
This is good. I can totally relate to this.

[Relic]

Sorry to hear that L.C. Thanks for reading.

[L.C. Jarrette]

nah...it's okay. we all have to move on and keep on writing right? so what if they don't like it? i don't write for them...
and you're welcome...i love your work

[andrew mitchell]

yes i have relic or even worse a poem i like is not reviewed at all lol. top work, i enjoyed the slow death of the poem, as usual written so well, imagery spot on a stillbirth.

[Relic]

Thanks andrew.

[andrew mitchell]

you are most welcome

[Gee]

I just post and wait for the reaction, or lack of. Because I only pretend to be a writer, most of my poems mean diddly squat and are quickly written before work. Thus, my friend, I cannot relate to this but do fully understand

[Relic]

Thanks Gee.

[J.J. NIGHTINGALE]

Most of mine have been read at least once...sigh.
But I don't send read request any longer..
I just let people happen on them, and comment..

But I understand what you are saying here..
I have deleted several of my "el bomb-o's"
Ha..
This is a good write, didn't see the original, but sure it was also...fine !!

Jazzy........

[Relic]

Thanks Jazzy. I've sent maybe two read requests since I've been here. I feel when a poem sucks. This is a little better than the original. :)

[J.J. NIGHTINGALE]

You are welcome...................J.J.

[Poetic Beauty]

Oh yes I have a few of those that have been waiting years for their chance to shine. They aren't in a grave yard yet just in an unending limbo. Love love this poem. All writers can relate to this piece.

[Relic]

Thank you PB. :)

[Poetic Beauty]

No problem. It's been along time since I've popped on. Saw that you were still here and had to come read.

[MOON]

Lovely poignant, can so relate , but this should be read it's not half bad...

[Relic]

Thank you Moon. :)